That is what I got in my email today. I am just SO excited! No, really I am. This could be the answer to all my questions, I will never make a mistake in any of my relationships again. That's right. See what they offer:
Dear Astro Fan, (Okay, I like the Rockies, not the Astros!)
New from Astrology.com: Uncover the road to relationship bliss with your free sample Relationship Road Map! (Sorry folks, I eliminated the links. Actually, they didn't make it over when I copied this so... sorry.)Based on the time-tested techniques of Chinese astrology,(How long is time-tested?) you'll get clues to what twists and turns lie ahead for you in love and friendship, and discover how you can triumph over any astrological challenge. (Astrological challenge? Is that like a defunct spy satellite crashing to the ground and crushing all the life out of whatever it lands on. I wonder if I would get this in time to find out if I will be crushed by said satellite?)Try your free sample first,( I LOVE free sample day! I go to Sam's Club every Saturday, just for that reason.) then upgrade to the full-length version (I love Upgrades!!!) for an in-depth look at what element and animal signs make you tick. Order through this email and you'll save 25%! (As opposed to....)
Wow! Who knew I could get all of that, and more! Speaking of which, there was more... a post script no less. Wanna see? Sure you do.
P.S. Will 2008 be your year for love? Find out with a free sample Love in the New Year tarot reading! (Where do I sign up!!)
Pass it on! Forward this offer to a friend. (Consider it forwarded.)
Wow. Paris Hilton was just on George Lopez! That's just, uh, just...