Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
Furthermore, here are reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
Oh, and P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
Hope you all smiled at that and are enjoying your weekend!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Okay, now that I have your attention. This is a cool and refreshing drink that goes down smooth and easy. Some might say a little too easy, so remember to drink responsibly.
Why the name? Who knows? That is just what we called it and not because of a certain former President of the United States either. Although I can see people that didn't like the President drinking these and possibly dreaming of… I won't go there.
Anyway, this is best in the heat of the summer, which is quickly approaching (although it doesn't really seem like it here in the greater Chicagoland area), but I am sure that it is good year round.
4 oz. Cream of Coconut
2 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. Bacardi Black Rum
1 oz. Hiram Walker Dark Crème de Cocoa
4 oz. Half and Half
4 Cups of Ice
Blend until smooth. Serves 2.
Again, I will remind everyone to DRINK RESPONSIBLY!! Don't want to lose anyone to stupidity.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
News 8 has recently revealed serious flaws in the way the FAA licenses mechanics who fix planes.
There is evidence of years of problems in testing these mechanics. There is also evidence that hundreds of mechanics with questionable licenses are working on aircraft in Texas.
Now there is evidence of repair facilities hiring low-wage mechanics who can't read English.
I think I will just take my car, thanks.
Monday, May 18, 2009
A teenager allegedly tried to hold up a convenience store with a banana, but ate the would-be weapon before police arrived.
Forsyth County sheriff's deputies arrested 17-year-old John Szwalla following the attempted robbery of the 109 Biz Center in North Carolina, the Winston-Salem Journal reports.
Szwalla allegedly walked into the store holding something under his shirt and asked for a Mountain Dew, before telling store owner Bobby Ray Mabe he had a gun and demanding money.
Mabe and a customer managed to grab the would-be robber and hold him down in a chair until police arrived.
"If he had a gun he would've shot me," Mr Mabe told the Journal.
"But he had a banana."
While waiting for the local sheriffs, Szwalla ate the banana.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Gotta at least rent it, right?
Friday, May 15, 2009
It was supposed to be a shining example of the green movement -- a completely independent solar-powered house with no gas or electrical hookups.
Seven months ago, officials gathered for a ribbon-cutting ceremony to celebrate the $900,000 house owned by the city of Troy that was to be used as an educational tool and meeting spot.
But it never opened to the public. And it remains closed.
Did you see the price for that thing? If you go to the link you can even see a picture of this amazing house. I had a friend whose double-wide trailer looked nicer, and cost a lot less. Yet this will one day save the planet, so we shouldn't complain I guess.
These Librarian movies starring Noah Wyle is, campy? Yes. But it is actually kind of fun to watch, as long as you don't take it too seriously. It is no Lost though, that's for sure.
I shall now write a series of nonsensical nonsense to see if anyone can decipher the secret message hidden inside. Like what exactly is the Language of the birds? Is there such a thing as this language? Can anyone tell me? I mean does it sound like Latin? Also did you know that two weeks ago it didn't rain on Friday and the weather was AWESOME on Saturday, yet they canceled the soccer games for Saturday. Today it has been raining all day, and it's been raining off and on all night. I bet we play our games tomorrow. Funny system, I tell ya, because I believe the fields will suffer much more tomorrow, if we play, than if we had played two weeks ago. Oh, just so you know, there is no secret message hidden in this paragraph, I was just messing with you. Back to sanity.
That's it kids!
Good night and God Bless!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Here she is, at bat - first game.
Today was our Loyalty Day Parade. Here are the kids waiting for the parade to start.
Getting impatient, waiting for the parade to start...
Unfortunately, that is all the pictures I took - pretty boring parade. Except for the candy that the kids got, of course. I mean they were almost out of Easter candy.
Yay Loyalty Day.
One last thing...
Wash your hands!!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
So I stop to watch.
It's in Spanish.
I don't speak Spanish.
Don't need to, it's Soccer!
That was not the surreal thing, I do it all the time, just ask my family. I almost always stop for a soccer game, the only time I don't is if a) Jenni won't let me. b) The kids won't let me. or c) Stargate is on.
Yes, I'm serious.
Back to the surreal images...
There is NO ONE in the stands. Not one person. Period. Nada. Nyet. Zip. Zero.
What is cool though is being able to hear EVERYTHING that goes on, during the game. Still can't understand it, but it's cool just the same.
So why were the stands empty, you ask. I'm sure that you know already... I'll give you three guesses, but the first two don't count. (Does anyone know the origin of this statement? I really have never gotten it, maybe someone can enlighten me). So do you give up? Okay, I'll tell you, because I like you.
Now, go wash your hands!
Friday, May 1, 2009
So here goes...
Eight Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1) Sleep - I love to sleep, whenever my head allows me to.
2) Losing fifty pounds - Not just for the Kindle, but for me and my family, I would rather not die in my forties, or fifties, or sixties, seventies and eighties. Okay, maybe sometime in my eighties will be good, say Eighty-Six. Of course, that is not up to me, now is it?
3) Reading - ANYTHING! It would be really cool if it were on a Kindle.
4) Softball and Soccer Games - Nothing brings joy to my heart quite like watching my kids play and enjoy playing these sports.
5) Heaven - Although I would like to wait for another 45 odd years, if possible.
6) Cubs winning a World Series - Sure I might have to wait those 45 years for it to happen, but I still think it would be neat to see.
7) Andy going off to college - Such a great achievement for him, and I hope and pray that it will work out.
8) Star Trek - Yeah, I know, not nearly as philosophical as the previous seven - but it sure looks cool, don't you think?
Eight Things I Did Yesterday:
1) Woke Up - Praise Jesus!
2) Went to work
3) Listened to mass hysteria about a bug
4) Cancelled Soccer Practice - Lots of rain.
5) Went for a walk
6) Wrote two blog entries - did anyone notice? I've actually had a couple of days where I have written more than one a day. Crazy, aren't I?
7) Read lots of blogs - I have to keep up with my reader, otherwise it will become a major pain or I will be blowing off several of my reads, which would make me feel guilty.
8) Fell in love again with my wife and children - happens every day. They are AWESOME!
Eight Things I Wish I Could Do:
1) Write a best-selling novel
2) Go to Disney World, annually.
3) Visit all of the Disney Parks - They have one in Hong Kong, Tokyo, Anaheim, Orlando (my fav!), and Paris. Just one long road trip.
4) Have seven children... oh wait, already getting that.
5) Go to a World Cup
6) Go to the Moon
7) Become a Supreme Court Justice - have always wanted to do this, just never followed up on it - too lazy I believe.
8) See Jesus and Mary in person.
Eight Shows I Watch:
1) LOST - Oh yeah baby! One of the best shows EVER!!
2) Stargate SG-1 - Yeah, I know it's not on anymore, but I have ALL the DVD's, so I can watch it ANYTIME! Like right now.
3) Firefly - See #2
4) Eureka - I love this show, but don't get the Sci-Fi channel, so... I only watch it, when I think about it, online.
5) Stargate Atlantis
6) NCIS - Way cool!
7) Law and Order SVU
You, now have your mission, do you choose to accept? Let me know, if you do.