Sunday, January 16, 2011

In Search of a Story

That's what I asked for on Facebook the other day and one of them stuck with me. It stuck with me so much, that I am actually considering writing something about it, and you know what? It will make me millions of dollars, of which I would have to share a piece with the originator of the idea - unless I get him to sign something...

So what is the story about?

Well, there is this beautiful pregnant woman that gets bit by a werewolf. Only the werewolf is in his human form, so she doesn't know how bad that bite really is. Aside from it being totally weird that a strange man would up and bite a pregnant woman (I did say she was beautiful, right?), I think it has a good launching point.

It gets better.

Yes, it does. You see this woman goes full term with what she thinks is a normal pregnancy, only to give birth to a litter of puppies, five female and two male. Now this as you may imagine sends shock waves throughout the world, so much so that people start paying more attention to those tabloid magazines they see while waiting to check out of a grocery store. You know of the ones I speak, right?

Still gets better.

Amazing, but true. It turns out that these puppies - the woman keeps them, I mean they are her kids, um puppies, after all.Well everything seems to be pretty normal for a while - as normal as a woman that gave birth to seven puppies can be, I guess - until one fateful evening when the puppies, now five years old, are camping with their grandparents and there is a full moon.

Oh you are just chomping at the bit now, aren't you?

See, when the moon is full and the puppies are touched by the light of said full moon, they turn into humans.Very intelligent humans at that. Like so smart they could solve all the world's problems, smart. Of course, once they leave the light of the moon, they go back to being puppies - well dogs, by then. Oh and no one believes the grandparents, why would they, right?

I'm thinking of adding one or two more things, say some zombies or vampires.

What do you think? Is this gold or what?

Saturday, January 8, 2011


Um, hi there!

Whatcha doin'?

Hopefully you are thinking to yourself, 'self, I need to step away from the computer and go outside and play.'

And when self comes back and says it is only fourteen degrees outside.

You retort back, 'don't forget your jacket then.'

Have a great weekend and please step away from the computer for a while and go smell the roses, shovel some snow, eat some snow (no yellow!), and enjoy your life away from this digital life you have here.

Just don't forget to come back.

Gos loves you and so do I!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Hotel Stay

A married couple are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George . Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told
the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for
four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the  'standard rate'.

He insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The  Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the  hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us
to use."But we didn't use them," the husband said. 

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said. 

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But
we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book he asked his wife to write the check.
She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
"But ma'am, this
is only made out for $50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Monday, January 3, 2011

Back to the Grind

Also known as work.


Can't you just feel the enthusiasm? It's palpable, is it not?

I think I know what palpable means, if not, I at least hope I used it correctly in a sentence. That seems to be key, not necessarily understanding the words you write, just that they are used properly.

Did you see that? The Denver Broncos just barely missed the playoffs... At least that was my way of thinking before the bottom fell out. I will also go on record here and now and say that I think firing Josh McDaniels was a mistake. That being said, I don't know if all the fuss about Jim Harbaugh is really worth it.

Alas, I am just a fan and have to live with whatever decision the big boys that write the big checks decide to do. It's not like they care what I think anyway.

The television show Top Gear just cracks me up. I hear that they are bringing an Americanized version to the screen soon. Big mistake, at first glance, because matching the chemistry that the boys have on the original, will be hard to beat.

The shake weight has to be the dumbest thing ever invented, and it seems a bit naughty.

Speaking of naughty, Craig Ferguson is on, so I'll see ya next time.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

I Have Eleven Posts to Prepare With

That's right.


In Eleven more posts, well actually ten now, I will have posted something a thousand times. Okay, not the word something, but rather something has been posted to this blog one thousand times.

We have jokes.

We have pictures.

We have love stories.

Um, you do?

Don't I?

Don't think so. You're not a lovey-dovey kind of guy you know.

What? You think I don't love?

Not what I said. You don't make a big deal out of who or what you love, the possible exceptions being Dr. Who, Stargate Universe and the Denver Broncos.

What about my family? Don't you think I love them? Or the Church? Or Disney?

Okay, you do love all those things, but you don't always express them here. You know? I mean lately you have been raving all about Tron: Legacy, the movie and soundtrack.

Well, it is, they are, awesome. So.

Yeah, but so are your wife and kids.

I know that. I also think that everyone that reads this blog knows that as well.

If you say so. But there are no love stories.

Think I should add one, sometime?

Wouldn't hurt.

Okay, I'll have to work on that. Now where was I? Oh yeah. There have been love stories.

There have even been some links to things that I find cool. So what should I do for these next ten? Practice, practice, practice? Or just go on being my lovable, and humble, self? I'm sure that will be the case, as you probably know already, I'm not the best at sticking to a plan. I have all the intent, yet when it comes time for some action. Well, you know.

Notice that there are no plans mentioned here, at all. At least recently, I think. Don't go quoting me on it now either.

Speaking of Tron:Legacy...

You weren't.

Oh yeah. Maybe I should save that for tomorrow. Don't want to use all the good stuff up all at once.

Whatever. Say goodnight Gracie.

Goodnight Gracie.

One, two, three...

Um, who's Gracie?

January 2011

Hello again, my friends.

I know that some of you may still be left out there. Welcome to the year 2011 and all that it will bring and the fruit it will bear, etc.

Not really a fan of doing resolutions but I thought, why the heck not. So here are mine, short and sweet and rather complete.

  1. Take better care of myself spiritually, mentally and physically.
  2. Read more this year than last year (31).
  3. Write more. Period. Here, there and everywhere.
That's it. Like I said, pretty simple. What are yours?

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!!

I'd like to share a joke with you all to start this year off right. (h/t Happy Catholic)

Dear Lord

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.


Have a great 2011!!