Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Laser Tag and Poo (Krissa will be so proud)

Tonight was a fun night, we played laser tag with the teens from church.

I TOTALLY kicked some Butt!!

Seriously.

I am SO not lying.

Before I talk more about my awesomeness at laser tag, I need to tell you about some poo.

Not Pooh, as in Winnie the, but rather poo, that come from digesting food over a period of time and having it break down and spread all of its goodness to every part of your body and then all the bad stuff, well except for some fat and other things that you body likes to cling to, gets processed into a waste area known as your colon which then compacts the stuff, also know as crap and s%$#, oh and poo, which then exits the body through an area known as Uranus (ba dum dum), into a receptacle known as a toilet, also known as a port-o-potty, a poop hole, and an area where you dig in the woods and make sure that you bury it or else you may step in it. If you have the aforementioned toilet there is a little knob, or handle, or even pull string that you can generate a flow of water (which is WAY less ever since someone in Congress decided that fat people that have large quantities of waste need to flush more than once, because in their haste to save the environment with low flow toilets, Congress forgot all about said fat people with large deposits of waste, thus the multiple flushes and {more than likely} the wasting of more water) which most normal people do after completing the discharge of bodily waste.

Except maybe some people.

Except maybe some people that live in my house.

Except maybe some people that live in my house and just got a brand new toilet and bathroom that use WAY too much toilet paper.

Except maybe said people that then decide to forget to mention said backup and continue to use said toilet.

Can you say gross?

This isn't close to gross, this is so far past gross that you cannot imagine it.

Oh wait, maybe you can.

Imagine seeing the Air and water show in Chicago, Illinois, where on a daily basis nearly one million people visit the area known as Grant Park to watch the wonder of flying aircraft, and floating watercraft, and then watch spectacular explosions in the air done to music.

Yea, I hear it's a lot of fun, but me a really large crowds like that just don't get along, especially since there is approximately six port-o-potty's for the nearly one million spectators to use, (okay there may be a bit of an exaggeration here, but go with it, because it helps with the image I am about to spring on you). So now imagine sitting in just one of these fine little port-o-potty's when, either by a really strong gust of wind, or some very mean prankster decides to roll you down a hill, after the fireworks.

That is almost how gross it is.

Did I mention that I kicked some serious butt in laser tag tonight?