Wednesday, July 2, 2008

TMNT, an Ostrich, and Diet Coke

TMNT - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a cartoon I never liked, a movie I never saw, yet I have four action figures, courtesy of McDonald's staring at me right now.

Why is that?

The ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke. 'The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.' Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.' Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

'Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there ,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers,

'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

Ha!

No, I have not started drinking Diet Coke again, should I?

Actually, I am down to one 20oz. bottle of Diet Coke in a 24 hour period. Yea Me!!

Now, I must go back to work, Big Brother is watching (more on that when it is safe to say something else, if ever!)

I tease, because I care.

3 comments:

  1. hahaha. That is really silly.

    Step away from the Diet Coke. You are doing good.

    ReplyDelete
  2. WELL! WELL! He is doing WELL!

    (Grammar Nazi strikes again.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. HA!
    That's a great one bug...keep em coming :)

    ReplyDelete

Hello, this is the section where you tell me that you LOVE me or HATE me... Either way, please drop me a line and don't be a stranger.

Have a GREAT day!