Thursday Turkeys

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.

“I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.”

“Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other.

“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – Take a clean dish.”

*****

Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

He said; “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.”

When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor told him. “You did this just by following my instructions?”

The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. “I’ll tell you, though, I though I was going to drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean.”

“No,” replied Mr. Johnson, “from skipping.”

*****

An Englishman took a business trip to New York.

When he arrived, the hotel clerk asked him a riddle. "My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"

The Englishman thought long and hard, but eventually gave up. "I don't know who was it?"

The hotel clerk responded, "It was me!"

The Englishman thought that was hilarious. He couldn't wait to get home and tell this funny joke to his family and friends in England.

When he arrived home they met him at the airport and he asked them: "My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"

His friends thought and thought about it until they gave up.

So he told them, "It was a hotel clerk I met in New York."

*****

Hope you enjoyed this little break in the insanity, regularly scheduled blogging will commence once again tomorrow.