My wife has found my replacement.
Yep, it looks like I had one smart-Alec remark too many, and I have been replaced as the love of my wife's life.
The children are upset about it, as you can well imagine, except maybe Andy, because he really likes the new guy. Benjy seems to be warming up to him as well.
He has many great new features; I think the main one is that he doesn't need to be awakened after his alarm goes off, again and again. Hey, in my defense, I'm getting old AND tired.
Jenni also loves the fact that he can apparently be programmed to do things when she needs them done, as opposed to, say, whenever I get around to it. She can also program how much of his new guy that she wants. I mean I can be a bit too much at times, not the new guy though, when Jenni tells him it's enough, then it's enough. She always said it would be nice if I knew when enough was enough, but it's not really my style; I like to push her buttons. Now with the new guy, she's the only one pushing buttons.
Still, you would think that hanging around for sixteen and a half years would have been good enough. Nope, she went for the shiny and new guy. One that can perk her up, on command. Again, in my defense, I am getting older and more tired - maybe I should get involved in some more exercise. That might help, right? I guess she just wanted someone that was a little more fresh, you would think that after six kids and with one on the way, getting fresh would be the least of her worries.
So should I now start looking for a new love? I mean it's not like I started this whole deal, I have been loyal to the core, never wavering. Ever.
It breaks my heart, but I do have a picture of the new guy and I will share it with you. Please if you see this guy around, kick him in the shins for me, okay?
And to think that she didn't even like coffee when we got married. :)