So there I was working hard on a
homework assignment, watching the kids, playing video games. When the phone rings...
Mrs. "Hey, Church is going to run long tomorrow, we're just now getting out. (it's 5:45 and Mass started at 4:15 - yep, it was a little longer than normal). So, what are we doing for dinner?"
Me: "I don't know, not really hungry and the kids (I had #6, Cuddlebug, Magpie and LHS at home with me) haven't asked for anything, yet."
Mrs. "Well, what are you making?"
Mrs. "We'll be home in a few minutes, you can get the kids ready then."
Me: "For what?"
**** Editorial note - I'm not putting in quotations from this point until I do, okay? So, no complaining. :-)
Mrs. So we can go and get something then, it's almost six and I know that I am hungry.
Me: I don't want to go out.
Mrs. I thought that...
Me: Let's just order a pizza
Mrs. I don't want pizza
Me: Well I don't feel like going out and I'm not dressed for it.
Mrs. What, are you in your shorts? Just put on some pants and we can go when I get home.
Me: Don't really feel like going anywhere.
Mrs. Fine, you better start making something for dinner then.
Me: Like what?
Mrs. I don't know, just not pizza.
Me: Okay, sure. Bye. (Clearly distracted at this point, because the creeps in the game I am playing are making it through my last defense. I HATE THAT!)
Ten minutes later the Mrs. is home and
dinner is made, dinner is started, I completely forgot everything from the above conversation.
Mrs. What are we having for dinner.
Me: What are you making?
Mrs. Are you serious? You could have had the kids ready to go at least, instead you are sitting there in your stupid fat shorts.
Me: They aren't stupid
Mrs. Yes they are.
Me: I said that we could order a pizza, because I didn't want to go out.
Mrs. I thought we were going to get something to eat.
Me: We can eat pizza, you know.
Mrs. Fine, whatever. You eat what ever it is you want to order, I don't want pizza. I wanted chicken, or something like that.
Me: We can order from KFC then.
Benjy: Yea, I would love some chicken.
LHS: No chicken
Magpie: I want chicken
Mrs. See what?
Me: Order chicken from KFC, and since you are already dressed and still have your jacket on, you can pick it up. (smiling)
Mrs. No. I don't want KFC.
Me: Then it's pizza.
Mrs. Goodbye. (Leaves in a huff and closes the door a little harder than necessary)
SAPLG: Dad, where's mom going?
Me: I don't know. I think she was going to go out to eat, and then go to Target.
Magpie: I want to go to Target!
Cuddlebug (CB): Me too!
LHS: Me too, I want to get a new game for the Wii.
Me: What game?
Me: Is that the one with the crazy bunnies, or something?
The door opens and back walks in the Mrs.
Mrs. What are we doing?
Me: I don't know.
Mrs. Just put on some pants and let's go.
Me: I don't want to.
Magpie: Daddy put on some pants, please.
Me: No I'm quite comfortable, thank you
Magpie: But Daddy, I want to go out to eat. (This goes back and forth for a little while, but eventually I relent)
The Mrs. had left again while we were all discussing this, the next thing I know is that SAPLG is talking to the Mrs. and trying to convince her to come back and get us. (She never left the driveway, by the way. It is part of the 'game' we play. You know of what I speak. She wants to do something, I don't and state that fact, she huffs a little, I puff a little more, she leaves, I wonder if she is actually leaving while acting like I don't care, yada yada yada)
SAPLG: No Mommy, Daddy has his pants on. Really. Okay. You are? Um, okay, bye.
SAPLG: She's in the driveway waiting.
Me: Okay kids lets go.
LHS: (Playing Mario Olympics) I don't want to go.
CB: I don't want to go
Magpie: Daddy can you tie my shoe.
#6: Noooooo, noooo, nooooo ( We're trying to put his shoes on, at this point. Followed by more Noooo's when we try to get his jacket on.)
Okay, so everyone is loaded into the van (yea!), Benjy has the "shotgun" seat, because he called it. So I get settled in the third row of the van seats. Not bad, could use more leg room, but then again, how often am I sitting there? Not much, I tell you.
#6 - Monster, (he just got a new nickname because Benjy, who also wants a new nickname so I will have to think of something appropriate, didn't like his baby brother being called #6, I asked him what should it be, and he said "Monster." So when "Monster" grows up with that name he will have Benjy to thank. Isn't stream-of-consciousness writing cool?) smells.
Mrs. Did he poop?
LHS: Smells like it.
Me: I just changed his diaper, he's not poopy.
Mrs. Are you sure?
LHS: Smells like it to me.
Me: Fine, but he isn't poopy, I tell you.
Five minutes and a clean diaper later (I know) we're off!
Mrs. Where do you want to go?
Me: You're asking me? I don't care, in fact, I'm not even hungry.
Mrs. Well pick something.
CB: Olive Garden.
Magpie: Yeah, Chili's!!
Me: I don't want Chili's
Me: How about KFC?
Magpie: No! I want Chili's!
CB: Olive Garden
LHS: On the Border, or TGI Fridays
Clearly, this was a bad idea.
Continued later... Maybe