A Whole Bunch of Silly Going On

As you may or may not know, I have been writing seven hundred and fifty words (at a minimum) per day for the past few months and I occasionally post what I write there, here. This is the case here. Now mind you, this is totally silly and off the cuff and it was basically fifteen minutes of straight typing and "story telling" going on here. There will be grammatical and spelling issues so if anyone doesn't like that sort of thing, you have been warned. Hope you enjoy it.


Na na na na hey hey hey good bye!

I have no idea what that was about but it popped into my head and I shared it with you, who is me, who is we and we all can come together, right now.

Blah de blah de blah hot chocolate and apple sauce along with a banana and there will be fighting in the trenches no doubt and we are all going to die, someday. So why not go out with a bang, right?

So do we take our hot little sports car and drive it as fast as we can towards that wall at the end of the block, just remember that we have several gallons of fuel siting there next to you and you can be smoking or something just to make it all flame out big time because well, you really want to make a show. So why not call the police and the news and have them witness it and save it for all posterity and such. Think about how infamous you will become as your images will continue to play through at least three news cycles and if you leave a letter behind you can make it so that when they finally find it they will all marvel at the maturity of your response to the current situation that you are in and then you will flip the page and there will be a picture of your sister in ;law naked on face book because she has not a ounce of maturity or intelligence in her body.

Chocolate!

Or we can have aliens flying by in their space cruiser decide that they want to show us puny earthlings a thing or two so they come by really really close to the planet, close enough that the actually knock the moon off of it's orbit and sends it flying through the galaxy towards lord knows where and it doesn't really matter since they are also responsible for knocking the earth off of its orbital path and send it hurling towards the sun, or would that be hurdling towards the sun, or gurtingly towards the sun... okay that is just being silly, but who cares since the planet is on a crash course with the sun and you have done the math and you realize that we are only ninety some odd million miles away from that gaseous orb in  the sky that has nothing but bad intentions on its mind. After all it thinks that we are attacking it, even though Venus and mercury saw the whole thing and mars thinks it did, but the same space cruiser actually knocked them a little silly and... remember that moon of ours? well as you can imagine the shock of mars as it looks up into the sky and sees a new satellite in its sky and realizes that they are about to either have high tides or a really really big whole in the planet. So what do you think is going to happen? Why Bruce Willis will board a space shuttle and sacrifice himself for the planet by taking a HUGE tow rope out there and wrapping it around the equator so that he can tow the planet back into its normal orbit because that is what Bruce Willis does. Only there is a small problem, NASA decided to retire the shuttles and put them in the Smithsonian and a couple other places so we have to rely on some Russian or French ship that just doesn't have the horsepower needed to tow a planet. Now I know what you are saying... "Roger, there is no friction in space and no one can hear you scream, so why not take the soyuz thing and push the planet?" .... That is pretty much the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and I am not even going to think about it anymore. But you did give me an idea... everyone sends their missiles up up and away into the sky, towards the sun and that will push the planet back, right? Okay, that's pretty lame too, so where are we?

Bruce Willis takes the newest Virgin spaceship up into the sky, with Richard Branson, mostly because well, he looks good on the camera, has a pretty awesome accent  and well he doesn't like to share much. So they get a big rope wrapped around the equator and then attach it to the space ship that Virgin has donmated to the cause and Bruce and Richard step on the gas and the planet starts to move... towards the sun. Which is actually the way you want to go because they willactually be pulling the planet back into its orbital path quicker that way and they warned everyone to wear their highest SPF sunscreen, just in case. Except that Al Gore says that because of their actions the planet is warming up and the glaciers are melting which means the oceans are rising, blah, blah, blah and DUH! So he has the brilliant idea to take one of his many yachts out to the equator and cuts the rope!

Yes he did.

He is stupid that way.

So what happens? Well Bruce and Richard are pulling on the planet and when the tension is released in the rope they get shot into the sun - bye by e Mr Willis and Mr Branson (Maybe). The earth meanwhile is violently pulled towards the sun where it will then be consumed in a great ball of flame and all life on the planet ends.

Meanwhile....

Bruce and Richard actually shot through and past the sun and actually knock the moon off of its course towards mars and they land safely on that planet where they are welcomed as heroes and new rulers to the realm of mars... Oh, did I mention that Richard brought along a couple of young ladies, figuring that he and Bruce would be celebrating the earth being saved and all, and join the multi-million mile high club, but now they are rulers of mars and are each given half the planet to rule as they please.

Moral of the story? It's good to be Bruce Willis.

Travel Woes

**** I asked my Plurk friends to give me ten words, I didn't tell them what I was going to do with them, neither did they. Below is the result, then ten words are as follows: Bedtime, French, Fries, Smurf, Yes, Snort, CHOCOLATE, Pork, Chops and hairspray. Hope you enjoy this little tale, that was inspired by true events. ****

I hate to travel.

Scratch that, I love travelling. I hate to travel alone, without my family. It depresses me and really makes me crazy around bedtime. You see, I cannot fall asleep when I am travelling alone and it really makes it hard for me to focus when I am on a business trip. It’s hard to be on your “A Game” when you only get two to three hours of very uncomfortable sleep a night. Imagine how you would be by Friday after getting the same amount of sleep in one week that you might normally get in one night.

Not pretty. Trust me.

I have tried a wide variety of ideas that have been handed down to me once someone hears about my issues. I love that everyone wants to help, it’s what makes this country great - too bad none of them seem to work very well.

One suggestion was to dance myself to sleep. I really didn’t understand this, but I figured it was worth a shot. So I turned on MTV and prepared myself for a dance-a-thon that would begin once the commercials ended.

Snort.

I completely forgot that they no longer play music on MTV, and the cheap radio in the hotel room, just doesn’t find a station clear enough to understand the lyrics, or more importantly, hear the beat. So I gave up and sat down and ate some french fries, and while they made me feel better initially, I had to spend a lot of extra time in the other room in my hotel room, if you know what I’m saying. Apparently filling up on greasy spuds, does not do my body good.

By the time I found myself in bed watching a rerun of Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show” and dozing off to Ed McMahon saying “Yes!” it was well past midnight.

Somehow, I did finally fall asleep and entered the most disturbing part of the evening, my subconscious.

I found myself sitting on a chair in my bathroom spraying my hair down with some high-grade hairspray, which in itself is hilarious because I have been bald for the past twenty years, but I figured why not. If my subconscious sees me with David Coverdale hair, so be it. I didn’t really like seeing the grey hairs seeming to stand out and make let it be known that I am an old dude. Great, first I can’t sleep and now my subconscious is reminding me that I am old.

Beautiful.

It gets better. As I leave my bathroom, which appears to be about twice the size of my house, again I am not minding this part since having a bathroom the size of a small ballroom could have its benefits. The tub alone was like an Olympic-sized swimming pool, so I can get my bubbles and some exercise all in one swoop.

I have to find this house!

Since I like the other white meat so much, I decided to have myself some pork chops - hey I can control my subconscious every now and again, can’t I? I felt like covering them with chocolate, but my mind took over and literally yelled in my dream ear, “CHOCOLATE!”

So I decided against adding the sweet stuff and went for some mustard instead. I don’t know why I did that but did feel like asking my mind if it had any Grey Poupon. I figured that my mind wouldn’t like it too much and might turn me into a Smurf or something. Imagine that, being turned into a Smurf.

No thank you.

When the alarm went off I was not as rested as one might think and decided to bring my iPod along for the next trip to give dancing another chance.

**** Thanks Plurkies, we'll have to do this again, and again. I had fun! ****

Fun Monday - Mason and Crane

This week's challenge is turning into a serious albatross for me because I really did have an idea, and then promptly forgot what it was. I have been racking my brain all day, and all I could come up with is the following:

(Forgot to remind you of what the challenge was, you could choose one of three, Perry Mason vs Denny Crane, or you could have a conversation amongst someone that works with masonry and a crane operator, or finally you could choose to have a conversation between the American patriot George Mason, and the fictional school teacher Ichabod Crane.)

I think I should work more simply in the future. Anyway, the following will be streaming from my consciousness to your computer screen, hope it works out...

Two guys were sitting at the bar. They were discussing the finer points of something, at least by appearances that is what they were doing. They were getting pretty animated about it, when two more gentlemen joined them; a regal looking gentleman and a timid looking fellow that looked like the perfect mediator, someone that doesn't handle confrontation very well.

Soon after, you could tell that the newcomers had chosen sides and that the argument was about to become more heated, which got the attention of two more gentlemen that looked rather confident of their abilities to solve any and all problems whatever they be.

So now the scene is set, let's go in and see what it is that is causing such a commotion...

"I'm telling you Joe, laying bricks is way harder than sitting in an air-conditioned cab and placing beams in the general area, for someone else to set into place."

"Frank, you don't have the intelligence to handle the calculations of all the vectors, etc that are entailed in getting that beam to the top of a building, while sitting hundreds of feet below the location of the beam."

"Um, excuse me gentlemen, but what is air-conditioning?"

"What?! Don't you know anything bud? Air conditioning is what makes the air, er, conditioned."

"Conditioned to what exactly?"

"Are you being a wise acre?"

"My good sir, I can assure you that my fellow citizen here is not being a wise, acre was it? As I too, do not know what this 'air conditioning is."

"Can you believe this Frank? We got the only two people in the world that don't know what air conditioning is, and they are sitting here at the same bar as us. Listen buddy."

"Ichabod."

"Listen Ickerstob."

"Ichabod."

"Whatever, air-conditioning is .what keeps you cool on a hot day."

"I say, does it really? How does it work?"

"Do I look like an HVAC technician to you buddy? How do I know. All I do is hit a button and like magic, the house, cabin or car are cooled down."

"Car?"

"Oh jeez, what are you guys? You act like you are from the 19th century or something"

"18th actually."

"Pardon?"

"We are from the 18th century, well and some of the 19th to for that matter."

"Oh, I ought to..."

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, there is no need for you to come to blows, especially over something as simple as air conditioning"

"Now Denny, you really shouldn't belittle these fine gentlemen for not knowing what air-conditioning is. This reminds me of my case of the missing identity"

All five say "What?"

"You see, I never lost any of my cases..."

"Three"

"Okay, sure I lost three, but won those on appeal later."

"Truly? Or are you just trying to pump yourself up?"

"Why I never."

"Guys, guys, let's carry this conversation over at this table, I'll get us some beers and we can have a real conversation like men."

"Sounds like a grand plan young man. Can you get a nice lager...."

We shall leave this discussion and put a pin in it to come back to (possibly) some day. I guess that depends on how much of that lager I end up having. ;-)

Ooh, and we'll be heading back to a more normal month in June when Sayre at Sayre Smiles,  takes over Fun Monday hosting duties! You do have one more week of me left though.

1001!

Wow! I totally missed number 1000, so here I am to celebrate number 1001.

Thanks for showing up. :-)

Come back tomorrow (and every Friday in April) for your question for Fun Monday, I hope you can take some time to participate, I think we'll have some fun.

No, really.

On to my next 1000 posts!

Welcome to August

Where the heck did the year go? I mean it's not going to be long before we start seeing Christmas decorations and toys on sale - yeah, I went there.

Anyway, these past seven months have just flown by and I don't really have much to show for it. I might be down a couple of pounds, and I have finished reading a lot more books than I had planned to by this point in the year. I also have a new four-year old and a new one-year old, and by the end of the year - Christmas in fact, we will be the proud parents of a twenty-year old son.

Wow.

That looks weird. I mean how can I be the parent of a twenty-year old? Oh, and to just ratchet it up a notch, I will also have a new driver in the household. How can this be happening, next thing you'll be telling me is that I will be fifty soon.

Don't.Even.Go.There.

Here, let me distract myself with a picture...

Yep, I went there!

Something I Never Thought I Would See

A woman driving a car while knitting and talking on her cell phone.*

A friendly (soccer match) being played at Fenway Park in Boston.

A young man trying to show off to his friends on his dad's motorcycle, one of them there crotch  rockets no less, and forgetting the concept of a front brake while slamming into his friends car (who was videotaping the whole thing, for posterity purposes, of course). Wish I could find the link, it was pretty funny, with some swearing (go figure).

I saw something else today that was so amazing that I have completely forgotten about it, maybe next time.





*She was knitting while waiting for the light and answered her phone once the light changed, but that just doesn't sound as exciting now, does it?

Brownies Are Great, Just Not With A Corona

Of course the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you--if you don't play, you can't win. ~ Robert Heinlein

Okay, fair warning, there are no brownies in this post.

There may be a Corona, or two, though.

Talk today on Plurk was a wide range of topics, as it is always, so you should try it out. I'll even be your friend on there if you would like. I may have mentioned a time or two that I prefer the Plurk social networking site, compared to the Twitter site. It lends itself to containing conversations better and you don't need any additional apps for it, like I found I needed with Twitter.

Anyway, I started with a simple statement about dangling modifiers involving elliptical clauses (yes I did, and don't ask any questions, because I have no answers), which quite naturally evolved into a talk about genetics.

Makes sense, no?

The beauty of it is that it doesn't really have to, because it's just conversation, really.

Kind of like my blog here, except that the conversations are all in my head.

(not always!)

Ignore that voice in the parentheticals, please.

(why do they always have to ignore me? Are you ashamed of me?)

No.

(then why? I mean, I thought we were tight, yo!)

Yo? Were the heck did that come from?

(not sure. Did you like it?)

Not really. I mean what does it even mean, do you know?

(no, but all the cool kids say it.)

They do not.

(uh-huh!)

Mute!

(dude, you can't mute me! I will talk to the other side and have them mute you)

Yeah right. They don't liste...

(you were saying?)

...

(HA! Excuse Roger, he's gonna be out for a while. HA HA HA!)

!!!

(sounds mad , doesn't he?)

#! %! *!

(sorry kids, you shouldn't have to witness that kind of thing. maybe we should just call it a night, after all he does have several other projects that he is getting behind on.)

!!!!!!!!

(and he might need some time to cool off. farewell and good night gentle readers of the crazy man - had to add that last part,lest someone thinks I'm copying a really famous author. don't want any bad mojo, and all. you know, yo?)

...

(bye bye now)

.

Seriously, Cheese!

The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. ~ Arthur Koestler

Did you know that the moon is made of cheese?

No, really it is.

I distinctly recall hearing about it when I was, oh about four or five. Nobody would ever think about lying to a four or five-year old, now would they?

Would they?

So imagine my surprise when I find out that we have actually sent people to the moon. Seriously. people have actually camped out on the moon, and it appears to be rather dusty, and seriously lacking in color.

Did you see that? I used the same word two different ways.

Seriously.

Oh, and the moon is made of cheese, and I challenge you to prove me otherwise. Go ahead, give it your best shot. I'll be waiting, right here.

Being Bi-Polar Sucks

Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency. ~ Raymond Chandler

Andy went "home" today. Yes, that home away from home, also known as college.

It was very traumatic, which is odd considering it's his second semester and all. Alas, there was lots of drama, maybe even a few tears.

Not by Andy.

Nor by any of his siblings.

Momma didn't even shed a tear. As an aside, she did want to kick my posterior, in a big way. Can't say that I blame her, I was being a bad boy.

Yes, you guessed it, I became an emotional wreck.

Not because of Andy going back to school, no we're kind of enjoying the extra space. I kid, because I care.

No, because my Christmas present, the one that I had so thoughtfully worked into getting, was going back to school with Andy. Sure, I don't use it that much, actually, I can't remember using it at all while Andy was away on his 'J' term. It just sat there, minding it's own business.

Oh, it also killed my DVR, but I digress.

So maybe I should be thanking Andy for giving it a better home, after all, he did use it the most. I finally did relax and realize the truth of the matter, but I probably could have handled it a little better, especially since Andy was also borrowing a few things that I wasn't expecting.

They would have been useless now anyway, so I should have realized that as well.

I'm thinking that maybe I might have missed taking a pill today, but hate blaming my moods on that, no matter how factual the evidence is on the matter.

I guess I will just have to live without it's company, which is good for me to realize, especially since it's 150 miles away and all, however, I will try to remember the good times that we shared in the month that we had together.

I will miss you, but you are in good hands.

Live well and free, dear PS3.

What?

Did you expect it to be something really important?

Dragons Love Burt Bacharach

Have you ever had something that you wanted to say, and then you sit down and get ready to say it, when all of a sudden...

Poof!

A dragon appears in your living room?

"Hey Buddy?"

A talking dragon, at that.

"Do you know the way to San Jose?"

A talking dragon that, apparently, likes Burt Bacharach songs.

"I've been away so long. I may go wrong and lose my way."

A talking dragon that , apparently, really likes Burt Bacharach songs.

"Oh, so sorry, I didn't see you there. Do you have anything to eat?"

A talking dragon that is into Burt Bacharach, and didn't bring any food for himself.

"Who you calling a him?"

A talking dragon that really enjoys Dionne Warwick singing Burt Bacharach that didn't bring food for herself.

"Whoa! Did you just dis Ms. Warwick?"

A talking dragon that really likes it when you leave Dionne Warwick alone, and if you don't , you just know that the smoke will turn into some flames of pain.

"Flames of pain? What are you drinking bub?"

I don't know, but I think I will go to bed now.

Hmmm.

When walking through the park, a tree with a squirrel in it asks you for a favor. Do you grant it?

Now, imagine walking through a park on a brightly moonlit evening and the same tree, sans squirrel, asks you a question. Do you answer it?

Same tree, different scenario; now it is a foggy night and the tree seems to be catching a cold, thus making it's voice seem to be a little more menacing. It asks you to take one of it's branches and make a walking stick from it. Will you?

Okay, now you are on the other side of the park, and you see the squirrel. The squirrel asks you where you got your walking stick. Do you answer honestly?

To be continued...

Goodnight.

Give A Dad A Uverse

And you get posts like this.

Gotta go and play with my new found television experience.

C Ya!

Out Of The Blue

Yes, I admit it, I was a fan of Debbie Gibson, (she's now Deborah)I mean she actually has talent, as opposed to her "rival" Tiffany, so I was surprised to see that she has made an action-adventure movie who's trailer is a viral hit. Why not join the fun?



Gotta at least rent it, right?

This Is The Post That Never Ends

yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because...This is the post that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started writing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because... 

Shoot me now!

Sad But True

It's late and I want a giggle, so I present the following (apologies if any are repeats)...

NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question.

The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'A) A Peanut B) An Elephant C) The Moon D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.

Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon.

However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question,

Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.

Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'

'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.'

Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

Caution...they walk among us!

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Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.

He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!

***They walk amongst us! ***

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One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

***They walk among us!!***

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for some time, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff'

***They Walk Among Us!!***

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.

***They Walk Among Us!!!!***

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!***

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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! ***

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... (I work with professionals like this.)

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!***

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While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too!

Super Saturday Silliness

Happy Saturday!!!

Have a great day!

H/T - Patrick Madrid

Let's Go Green!

Here is a great way of going green that I am sure you will all join me in participating...

"Alright," you say, "You've convinced me about cloth diapers, and I understand using cloth gift bags and napkins. But toilet paper??" For some people, making the switch to cloth toilet wipes is a huge leap, that's true. But it doesn't need to be!

Using cloth toilet wipes actually has many advantages. For one, it's a lot more comfortable and soft on your most delicate body parts. It's also more economical, uses less paper, and saves you those late-night trips to the store. And cloth wipes can be used wet without any of the sopping disintegration that regular toilet paper is prone to. For a discussion of the practical aspects of using cloth toilet wipes, please check out our page detailing How to Use Cloth Wipes.

Lately, with all the media attention, there've been a lot of naysayers talking about the stench. I can honestly say, our wipes don't stink. They don't go into a sealed container. They go into a little (lidded) garbage can in the bathroom. Many people use a wet bag, as pictured below. There is no odor.

You go first! :)

And Then the Fight Started...

I saw these and thought of Damama, for some reason. Maybe because she already posted them, who knows. I just wanted a giggle or two, and since I couldn't take the picture of her wearing Danny's night time pull up on her head, these will have to suffice:

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said,"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....

****

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'
And then the fight started.....

****

I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....
He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,'I AM NOT HAPPY! !!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started.....

Have a pleasant evening...

My Wife's New Love

My wife has found my replacement.

Yep, it looks like I had one smart-Alec remark too many, and I have been replaced as the love of my wife's life.

The children are upset about it, as you can well imagine, except maybe Andy, because he really likes the new guy. Benjy seems to be warming up to him as well.

He has many great new features; I think the main one is that he doesn't need to be awakened after his alarm goes off, again and again. Hey, in my defense, I'm getting old AND tired.

Jenni also loves the fact that he can apparently be programmed to do things when she needs them done, as opposed to, say, whenever I get around to it. She can also program how much of his new guy that she wants. I mean I can be a bit too much at times, not the new guy though, when Jenni tells him it's enough, then it's enough. She always said it would be nice if I knew when enough was enough, but it's not really my style; I like to push her buttons. Now with the new guy, she's the only one pushing buttons.

Still, you would think that hanging around for sixteen and a half years would have been good enough. Nope, she went for the shiny and new guy. One that can perk her up, on command. Again, in my defense, I am getting older and more tired - maybe I should get involved in some more exercise. That might help, right? I guess she just wanted someone that was a little more fresh, you would think that after six kids and with one on the way, getting fresh would be the least of her worries.

So should I now start looking for a new love? I mean it's not like I started this whole deal, I have been loyal to the core, never wavering. Ever.

It breaks my heart, but I do have a picture of the new guy and I will share it with you. Please if you see this guy around, kick him in the shins for me, okay?



And to think that she didn't even like coffee when we got married. :)

How About an iPod Meme?

Benjy tagged me on Facebook with this little meme, and I thought I would share it here. Feel free to join.

The Rules:

1. Put your iPod/Zune/MP3 Player/etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 (or more) friends who might enjoy doing the note as well as the person you got the note from... (I'm not tagging, but I am encouraging you all to try.)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler (How'd that get there?)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? I'm Not Alright - Santus Real

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? The Broad Majestic Shannon - The Pogues

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? On Your Porch - The Format (I wonder if it should be couch?)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? This is Me - Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas (Camp Rock Soundtrack)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Thank You - 33 Miles

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Rocky Mountain Way - Joe Walsh

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Pictures of You - The Last Goodnight

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? You Are Being Loved - Steven Curtis Chapman (Good to know)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Snowblind - Styx (Interesting)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Seven Days of Lonely - I Nine

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? I Go Back - Kenny Chesney

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Praise You - Fatboy Slim

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? The Name of The Game - Amanda Seyfried & Stellan Skar... (Mama Mia Soundtrack) (I don't know the rest of Stellan's name as it doesn't show up on my iPod)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? If I Should Fall From Grace With God - The Pogues

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Scary Kids Scaring Kids - Snake Devil

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Funkytown - Lipps Inc.

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Keep On - The Brady Bunch

HOW WILL YOU DIE? The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? All Summer Long - Hit Masters

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Come Together - Joe Cocker (Across The Universe Soundtrack)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Misery - Good Charlotte

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? If You're Going Through Hell (Be... - Rodney Atkins (Same thing applies as to the song above, my iPod doesn't show the whole title, sorry)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Who Are You - The Who

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? Eddie's Coming Out Tonight - Night Ranger (Sorry, I really don't know any Eddie's and his coming out wouldn't concern me one bit, thankyouverymuch)

Now it is your turn, if so choose. Let me know if you do, as I am curious to see what everyone else's shows. :)