Friday, May 20, 2011

The Dread Pirate Julie

Who:  Julie Kavanaugh

What:  romance novel, calendar, invisible ink, a pocket-watch

Where:  a wedding reception

First line:  The clock struck one.

The clock struck one.

"Wait, you're telling me that the lady killed in the gas station explosion is the same woman that gave you the key?"


"That is so weird, no wait, that is so cool!" Hayley said "kind of like something you would see on that old television show, The Twilight Zone."

"I know, right," her brother Tony said nervously. "A little too much like that for my taste."

The two of them had been talking about the incident on and off for the past couple of days and they were now drawing the attention of fellow guests at their cousin Jennifer's wedding reception, so much so that Tony thought it might be the perfect time to go and get a couple more drinks. Their Uncle had plenty of money, and the bar was open, an opportunity to imbibe on some one's dime never was a bad thing after all.

When Tony got back to the table he noticed that his sister Hayley was reading a romance novel and was really getting into it, by outward appearances.

"You know those things are a bunch of bull, and won't ever get you a husband, let alone a boyfriend."

"Who says I want one," Hayley shot back with a smile on her face. "I don't need a man to get by in this big world of ours."

"No, but it wouldn't hurt if you could find one with a big bankroll to help your brother out every now and then."

"Why Tony, I am shocked to hear you say something like that," Hayley now in a full out smile said, feigning shock.

"Whatever, sis. What is the story about? You looked like it was the greatest story ever told, do you expect me to believe that one of those novels can capture your imagination in such a manner."

"Actually, the story is pretty lame, and it's supposedly a "historical fiction" novel, which I suppose means there might be some facts in here." Hayley tapped the cover of the book that featured a well-developed woman dressed in what had to be the craziest looking pirate getup that Tony had ever seen.

"This part is really kind of freaky, considering all that has been going on lately, listen:

Julie Kavanaugh looked down at the treasure that she was about to bury, thinking about the traps that she had just left for any unsuspecting treasure hunters. It was quite an ingenious plan that she no doubt knew would keep her treasure safe for her return. The curse that the local native set on it would keep it safe for the next 313 years, if the fates kept her away. When that time came, if the hunter had the Key, the box, and the right combination, then they could take what was hers. 

Julie took her pocket-watch, and verified the time as a little past three in the afternoon, three thirteen to be exact - as exact as her Pomander watch was. The watch had been in her family for nearly two hundred years, and never seemed to miss a beat. 

Julie finished burying her treasure...

"What the heck is a Pomander Watch? Is there even such a thing?"

"Actually yes. I can show you later when we get home. It looks like a globe on the outside..."

"Wait, 313 years? When did this supposedly true event take place?"

"Let's see, it says here that this book follows the adventures of the pirate Julie Kavanaugh during her greatest year, which was 1698."

"That's 313 years ago, time to queue the scary music now."


The man opened his door and walked across the room to where his calendar hung next to the phone in the kitchen, and looked closely at the dates. Flipping through the calendar he came to the month of July, then taking a damp cloth from the sink he proceeded to run the cloth over the calendar. The water activated the compounds in the invisible ink to make the writing legible once again. July 27 was annotated with the letters JCEK and the word "today" under them.

He then picked up the phone and dialed, when the connection was made he said: "The Key knows" and then hung up. The refrigerator was stocked with his favorite Augustiner beer, he grabbed one opened it and took a long swallow.

Soon, he thought tapping his fingers on the antique box, very soon, I can get back what that pirate Julie Kavanaugh took from my family...