Fun Monday - Mason and Crane

This week's challenge is turning into a serious albatross for me because I really did have an idea, and then promptly forgot what it was. I have been racking my brain all day, and all I could come up with is the following:

(Forgot to remind you of what the challenge was, you could choose one of three, Perry Mason vs Denny Crane, or you could have a conversation amongst someone that works with masonry and a crane operator, or finally you could choose to have a conversation between the American patriot George Mason, and the fictional school teacher Ichabod Crane.)

I think I should work more simply in the future. Anyway, the following will be streaming from my consciousness to your computer screen, hope it works out...

Two guys were sitting at the bar. They were discussing the finer points of something, at least by appearances that is what they were doing. They were getting pretty animated about it, when two more gentlemen joined them; a regal looking gentleman and a timid looking fellow that looked like the perfect mediator, someone that doesn't handle confrontation very well.

Soon after, you could tell that the newcomers had chosen sides and that the argument was about to become more heated, which got the attention of two more gentlemen that looked rather confident of their abilities to solve any and all problems whatever they be.

So now the scene is set, let's go in and see what it is that is causing such a commotion...

"I'm telling you Joe, laying bricks is way harder than sitting in an air-conditioned cab and placing beams in the general area, for someone else to set into place."

"Frank, you don't have the intelligence to handle the calculations of all the vectors, etc that are entailed in getting that beam to the top of a building, while sitting hundreds of feet below the location of the beam."

"Um, excuse me gentlemen, but what is air-conditioning?"

"What?! Don't you know anything bud? Air conditioning is what makes the air, er, conditioned."

"Conditioned to what exactly?"

"Are you being a wise acre?"

"My good sir, I can assure you that my fellow citizen here is not being a wise, acre was it? As I too, do not know what this 'air conditioning is."

"Can you believe this Frank? We got the only two people in the world that don't know what air conditioning is, and they are sitting here at the same bar as us. Listen buddy."

"Ichabod."

"Listen Ickerstob."

"Ichabod."

"Whatever, air-conditioning is .what keeps you cool on a hot day."

"I say, does it really? How does it work?"

"Do I look like an HVAC technician to you buddy? How do I know. All I do is hit a button and like magic, the house, cabin or car are cooled down."

"Car?"

"Oh jeez, what are you guys? You act like you are from the 19th century or something"

"18th actually."

"Pardon?"

"We are from the 18th century, well and some of the 19th to for that matter."

"Oh, I ought to..."

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, there is no need for you to come to blows, especially over something as simple as air conditioning"

"Now Denny, you really shouldn't belittle these fine gentlemen for not knowing what air-conditioning is. This reminds me of my case of the missing identity"

All five say "What?"

"You see, I never lost any of my cases..."

"Three"

"Okay, sure I lost three, but won those on appeal later."

"Truly? Or are you just trying to pump yourself up?"

"Why I never."

"Guys, guys, let's carry this conversation over at this table, I'll get us some beers and we can have a real conversation like men."

"Sounds like a grand plan young man. Can you get a nice lager...."

We shall leave this discussion and put a pin in it to come back to (possibly) some day. I guess that depends on how much of that lager I end up having. ;-)

Ooh, and we'll be heading back to a more normal month in June when Sayre at Sayre Smiles,  takes over Fun Monday hosting duties! You do have one more week of me left though.

Fun Monday - Mason or Crane?

Hello and welcome back to Fun Monday! I should get this out now, as June is fast approaching, we will be needing a new host or hostess with the mostess to take over hosting duties. I'll be on vacation visiting Mickey and friends, so I probably won't be a good host. So think about it, and let me know if you want the honor of hosting for the month of June.

Onto the business of the day. For this Monday, let's talk law, as in fictional lawyers that are rarely beat. I have two in mind, one is Perry Mason and the other Denny Crane. Let's pit them against each other shall we. Now I know that they are both defense lawyers - hence the challenge. Now, because I know not everyone knows both these lawyers, I feel like I need to add some additional opportunities for you to try. So, if you don't want option one;  Mason vs Crane, you can try option two; would you rather be a brick layer (mason) or a (crane) operator; or your third choice would be to have a meeting between American patriot George Mason, and the timid school teacher from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow; Ichabod Crane. Have them discuss whatever you like.

I really had too much time on my hands, I think.

Anyway, those are your choices and as always, I look forward to seeing which one you will pick. For that matter, I wonder what I will do myself.

Have a great weekend, and we'll see y'all on Monday!

The Dread Pirate Julie

Who:  Julie Kavanaugh

What:  romance novel, calendar, invisible ink, a pocket-watch

Where:  a wedding reception

First line:  The clock struck one.






The clock struck one.


"Wait, you're telling me that the lady killed in the gas station explosion is the same woman that gave you the key?"


"Yes."


"That is so weird, no wait, that is so cool!" Hayley said "kind of like something you would see on that old television show, The Twilight Zone."


"I know, right," her brother Tony said nervously. "A little too much like that for my taste."


The two of them had been talking about the incident on and off for the past couple of days and they were now drawing the attention of fellow guests at their cousin Jennifer's wedding reception, so much so that Tony thought it might be the perfect time to go and get a couple more drinks. Their Uncle had plenty of money, and the bar was open, an opportunity to imbibe on some one's dime never was a bad thing after all.


When Tony got back to the table he noticed that his sister Hayley was reading a romance novel and was really getting into it, by outward appearances.


"You know those things are a bunch of bull, and won't ever get you a husband, let alone a boyfriend."


"Who says I want one," Hayley shot back with a smile on her face. "I don't need a man to get by in this big world of ours."


"No, but it wouldn't hurt if you could find one with a big bankroll to help your brother out every now and then."


"Why Tony, I am shocked to hear you say something like that," Hayley now in a full out smile said, feigning shock.


"Whatever, sis. What is the story about? You looked like it was the greatest story ever told, do you expect me to believe that one of those novels can capture your imagination in such a manner."


"Actually, the story is pretty lame, and it's supposedly a "historical fiction" novel, which I suppose means there might be some facts in here." Hayley tapped the cover of the book that featured a well-developed woman dressed in what had to be the craziest looking pirate getup that Tony had ever seen.


"This part is really kind of freaky, considering all that has been going on lately, listen:

Julie Kavanaugh looked down at the treasure that she was about to bury, thinking about the traps that she had just left for any unsuspecting treasure hunters. It was quite an ingenious plan that she no doubt knew would keep her treasure safe for her return. The curse that the local native set on it would keep it safe for the next 313 years, if the fates kept her away. When that time came, if the hunter had the Key, the box, and the right combination, then they could take what was hers. 

Julie took her pocket-watch, and verified the time as a little past three in the afternoon, three thirteen to be exact - as exact as her Pomander watch was. The watch had been in her family for nearly two hundred years, and never seemed to miss a beat. 

Julie finished burying her treasure...

"What the heck is a Pomander Watch? Is there even such a thing?"

"Actually yes. I can show you later when we get home. It looks like a globe on the outside..."

"Wait, 313 years? When did this supposedly true event take place?"

"Let's see, it says here that this book follows the adventures of the pirate Julie Kavanaugh during her greatest year, which was 1698."

"That's 313 years ago, time to queue the scary music now."

****

The man opened his door and walked across the room to where his calendar hung next to the phone in the kitchen, and looked closely at the dates. Flipping through the calendar he came to the month of July, then taking a damp cloth from the sink he proceeded to run the cloth over the calendar. The water activated the compounds in the invisible ink to make the writing legible once again. July 27 was annotated with the letters JCEK and the word "today" under them.

He then picked up the phone and dialed, when the connection was made he said: "The Key knows" and then hung up. The refrigerator was stocked with his favorite Augustiner beer, he grabbed one opened it and took a long swallow.

Soon, he thought tapping his fingers on the antique box, very soon, I can get back what that pirate Julie Kavanaugh took from my family...

Monday Fun We Have Indeed!

This week we are looking at our inner child perhaps, as we have been tasked with sharing about our favorite Muppet, those lovable furry little creatures from the mind of the late Jim Henson.

You know what? I don't have one. Nope, I have at least four that I can think of, so in no particular order (don't you love it when people say that) here are my favorite Muppet's.

Grover. Lovable furry old Grover. I love this Muppet and think that he is one of the best ever. He's lovable, furry and oh so funny. He is also the subject of one of my all-time favorite children's books, The Monster at the End of this Book. My kids love it and I love reading it too them.

Grover

Next up... Cookie Monster! You know and love him, I'm sure. Another lovable furry and blue monster from Sesame Street that loves cookies! "C is for cookie, it's good enough for me."

Cookie Monster

Miss Piggy is also in my top five! She is simply sass personified and full of pork. She also is very loyal to her "main frog" Kermit. Gotta reward that loyalty right? 

Miss Piggy

Fozzy Bear, the greatest Muppet comedian ever. How can you not laugh at and with poor Fozzy. I liked him so much we named a cat after him, well mostly.

Fozzy Bear

Finally, we have Animal, the wild-haired red-headed drummer from The Muppet Show that speaks in, well, I'm really not sure, but I like it.

Animal

I should mention that there is one more Muppet that should be mentioned, but most people may not even realize it, so I'll just leave a picture for you all to think on.

Yoda

Have a great week!

Oh, and go read this book!

Dryer Woes

So my dryer has decided that it wants to give up the ghost.

You know I have heard that phrase many, many times and just now, literally 17 seconds ago, I finally add two and two and got four. You see, now y'all can tell me if I'm wrong, but the term is probably in relation to one's spirit (ghost) who is attached to you, and when you die you give up your spirit (ghost) - or at least your body does.

Now before anyone starts getting on me for turning a phrase, I know that dryers do not have spirits, souls or ghosts. Gonna digress now if you don't mind.

Anyway, after getting a lot of pressure from Jenni and one of her friends, I opened the machine up. We were all thinking that the belt was bad, considering that the drum won't turn and it sounds like everything else is working fine.

Well, the belt appears to be in great shape.

Next, I have to check the motor, once I find my multimeter that is.

I do have some great news though, I found over ten dollars in change under the drum (score!), no socks though.

Fun Monday - Muppet Love

Hello! Now that I am sure Blogger is here for a while :) I will present to you your Fun Monday topic for this upcoming week. We're talking Muppets! Yes Muppets, those lovable furry creatures from Jim Henson's imagination, so what I'm looking for is which Muppet character is your favorite and why. See how easy that was? I'm looking forward to seeing who everyone picks!

Have a great week!

Secret Key

This week's gossip:

Who:  Anthony Black (Hmmm . . . I wonder if he's related to Hayley)

What:  lost key, a bounced check, a next door neighbor, dusty attic

Where:  a small town

First line:  The old woman turned and smiled.

Let us find out if Mr. Black is related to Hayley, indeed. 

The old woman turned and smiled.

"Seeing you eat those remind me of my time in England."

"Excuse me?" I asked, wondering what she was talking about, or to for that matter. Sometimes when talking to seniors they tend to fade in and out of memories. Who knows, maybe she was thinking I was an old lover of hers or something, or had a really good sandwich, which is what I was currently stuffing my mouth with.

"Your chips," she pointed to the half-eaten tube of Salt and Vinegar chips that I was happily munching on. "They remind me of my time in England."

"How's that?" I ask, not really knowing if I want to be drawn into a conversation during my lunch break.

"When I was younger, I used to live in a small town in England, some shire or something like it - my memory fades," she smiles back at me knowingly. " I remember one time fondly enough though, amazingly. I went over to a next door neighbor to complain about the bounced check that my former work place just sent me."

"Interesting, but I only have a few minutes left on my break..." I froze at what I was saying, remembering that Mom always told me that no matter what I need to respect the wishes of those who were my senior. "I'm sorry, that was very rude of me, please continue."

"Oh, no problem dear, I understand that you have work to be getting back to and I don't want to keep you here listening to some old story by some old lady."

"My apologies, please continue."

With a nod of her head she continued where she left off. 

"Anyway, as I was complaining about my circumstances my neighbor invited me in to share some fish and chips that he had just picked up down the street. Lovely food that. We always doused it with a liberal amount of vinegar and salt, so seeing your chips reminded me of that."

"Oh, I get it. Yeah sure, right. Okay..."

"Which got me to remember something that I have and need to give to someone. Someone that can be trusted, and that could use it. You seem to be the kind of person, I am looking for."

"What? No ma'am, there is no need to do anything like that." I started.

"Nonsense, it's my treasure, and if I want to give it away, I can do just that."

"Treasure?"

"Well, it's probably not much, but you look like someone that likes a challenge with some possible adventure involved." She looked me square in the eye, almost like she was looking through me with her violet eyes. How could I have missed those, wow.

"After our lunch my neighbor wanted to show me something, so I followed him to his dusty attic, where he retrieved a box that looked as though it hadn't seen the light of day in ages. The wood was so well oiled and unblemished, in fact now that I think about it, there wasn't much dust, if any, on it either," she paused reflectively thinking back to that day. "He opened the box and pulled out several sheets of paper that had notations all over it and what appeared to be a map, or two.

"There was also an old key in the box that he said was the lost key to the secret, one that has been kept for several hundred years. He told me that one day, after my eighty-sixth birthday, I would 'find' someone that was to be given the key and..."

"Wait. What secret?"

"That's just it, he never told me. In fact, if I remember correctly he was killed in a freak accident the next day before I could ask."

"So, now you are eighty-six and you want to give this lost key to me and I'm supposed to do what exactly?"

"I don't know, but here is the key, " she hands over the key, which really doesn't look like much, except for the engravings of some words along the stem and the fleur-de-lis design on the top of the key. It looked like a mixture of two different styles that had been smashed together to be honest. Quite an ugly key in fact.

"Good luck, young man."

"Wait! What am I supposed to do with this?" I yelled back at her, but she just kept on walking.

"So what are you going to do Anthony Black?"

"I really don't know Hayley, I wasn't going to do anything, but then I saw today's paper."

"What about it?"

"You know that gas station explosion that injured Aunt Babs?

"Yeah?"

"Well, there was a casualty after all? They found a body after digging through all of the rubble. It seems no one knew there was anyone there, so they weren't looking for anyone. Once the excavation began they found her." Pointing towards the front page of the paper was a picture of an elderly woman, with the headline:

"Local heiress found in rubble of GasCo explosion"

Emilia Sarah Cavanaugh March 3, 1925 - March 4, 2011

****

Okay, I'll admit that I just threw this together, but it might have some legs. :) Hope you have a great day and enjoyed reading this. - R

Greatest.Conspiracy.Evah!

Saw this over at Creative Minority Report and since I am still looking for that other stuff that I mentioned below, I thought that this would fill the void nicely.

We're Back!

Now that Blogger has finished doing whatever it had to do, I can get back to what I was going to post today - later. :)

You see, I have to retrieve it from wherever it was deposited. Have no fear though, there will be a Tea Time Tale, and a Fun Monday quest (whatever) later.

Promise.

For now, if you are bored with this, go see some more of my blog. After over 1,000 posts there has to be something that catches your fancy. Maybe.

See you real soon!

Mother Knows Best?

Since I am hosting the Fun Mondays for May, I really have no one to blame but myself for this week's topic. I seriously considered not even submitting anything, but thought that would be kind of rude. So, that being said, this week's topic was all about moms, and your memories.

I have some pretty strong memories of my mother, when she chastised me for getting picked on by a bully "Quit acting like a girl!" to her being concerned for my well-being - I'm sure it happened at some point.

Now before this turns into something I'd rather it not, if it hasn't already. Let me tell you a couple of things I believe...

I believe that my mother loves me.

I believe that my mother has a hard time expressing that emotion towards me or my family, and it probably stems from something I did, although for the life of me I do not know what it was or could have been. Only that it seems to have build a divide between our relationship that I wish wasn't there, but for the sake of myself and the kids, I think I will try harder to bridge that gap in the near future.

Before you ask, yes I did call her and wish her a Happy Mother's Day yesterday, albeit with some gentle prodding from my wife and kids. They really know best.

My mother is also the founder of the greatest advice ever given to me - we used to talk all the time before either she went to bed or I did. She always had time to listen, even though I kept them(my dad was there usually as well) from their sleep, I'm sure. They were good talks and I am sure that I am part of who I am because of them. She also gave me the strong/tough love advice when I was seventeen and just lounging around the house... I should mention here that I had just graduated high school and because my dad, who was in the Air Force, had been transferred to a new city (San Antonio), I left the city that I knew everyone in (relatively of course) and moved to this strange place... Anyway, she was fed up with my lounging and came into my room and yelled these immortal words to my tender ears: "Why don't you get a job, go to college or join the Air Force!"

I'm happy to report that I did all three, even though I still look back and wonder how I missed that conjunction "or." It sure would have saved me all that hassle of moving from base to base for six years. And I probably - no definitely - wouldn't be working in the same career field I am today.

Of course, that same career feeds me, clothes me and shelters me, so it's not all bad.

With that I will close and say that I love my mother and wish that we could see her more often.

Fun Monday - Mom Memories

Hello and welcome back for your Fun Monday fun! With Mother's Day this weekend, the topic came to me pretty easily, even if the subject might not (ooh, a mystery?). Anyway, for this week, let us all share some memories of good ol' mom - although I wouldn't call her old to her face. :)

Have a great weekend and I look forward to reading about mom's around the world.

Molly Moves Up

This week's gossip: 

Who:  Molly Holden

What:  a luxury car, a broken piece of glass, a pair of knitting needles, an old brick

Where:  a mansion

First line:   The picture in the catalog had lied.

The picture in the catalog lied.

There was no way that Molly Holden was going to pay that much money for a pair of knitting needles, even if they were made of solid gold. She needed something more practical and realistic to use while sitting alone in her new mansion that her boyfriend Jack Cavanaugh had purchased for her, just a mere three months ago.

Of course, three months ago she was happy thinking that she had found the man of her dreams. He was tall, dark and handsome. Sure he seemed to be a bit on the loopy side, but he did have a ton of money and that had to matter for something after all. So when Jack wanted to but her this house, who was Molly to say no.

Two months ago Molly suspected Jack of cheating on her. Molly was shocked, no one had ever cheated on her - to the best of her knowledge at least, but Jack was pretty open about his cheating. Oh sure, he never came out and said that he was seeing someone else, but Molly just knew.

She knew.

So, she started following him around in the luxury car that he bought for her. She even thought that she had been spotted on more than one occasion, but he continued to carry on like nothing was amiss.

He was good.

So good, that she had never even spotted him alone with another woman. One time she thought she was going to catch him in the act, and was crawling along in the bushes, in order to peek through a window, when her knee caught on a broken piece of glass, she nearly yelled out in pain from the cut but quickly remembered where she was. By the time Molly peeked into the window, only to see Jack and his brother talking, the pain in her knee made her decide that enough was enough and so she turned around and started to head back to her car, when her toe crunched on an old brick.

Damn vandal got me twice, Molly thought, as she kept her second scream in.

She finally caught Jack with his little hussy, Babs was her name, at a gas station where they were acting so casual, almost like they had never met before. Then the bimbo, went and got themselves all blown up, thankfully neither of them died, but Jack sure wasn't as good looking as he used to be, and now he had to have nurses around him all day and all night long.

At least Jack did one thing right before the explosion, he made sure that Molly was well taken care of, without a care in the world. She even hired a handsome young pool boy to help with the maintenance of the pool, and maybe the occasional bit of maintenance for herself as well.

You know, getting those solid gold knitting needles might be worth it after all. She had notice that her pool boy had been a bit distant as of late, I wonder what he is up to, Molly thought as she clicked the buy now button from the catalog's website. You never know what those needles could be used for after all.

*** Fun Monday prompt will be up after noon CST today, in case you wanna play with that as well. Don't forget to click on the picture above to sign up for some Tea Time fun! 

Fun Monday - VaStayCation Time!

The question for this week was this...

With the economy, and gas prices being what they are, will you be traveling during the summer months or staying close to home?

That's my answer in a picture.

Now remember this, and shake your head sadly if you will, gas prices weren't even in the $3 a gallon range when we started planning this, and we're hoping that they stay under $5 a gallon. That being said, I would still go even if the prices were in the $10 a gallon range, we just wouldn't eat as much.

It's a great vacation diet.

We can easily justify driving across the country to visit the "Mouse House" because we haven't really gone anywhere in over a year, and we could all use a little break, right?

As for what we will be doing, or where we will be going after returning from Walt Disney World? That's where the "staycation" comes in, and not necessarily because of gas prices, because as a buddy of mine a long time ago told me; "It doesn't matter if the price was $2 a gallon, you need it to get somewhere, so you pay it." I wonder how he feels now, as this was nearly twenty years ago he said this.

No, this is why we won't be going anywhere else... You have two volleyball players, one soccer player, five camp goers, etc... Yep, we'll be a bit busy over the kids summer "break" running them from camp to camp.

Life is good.

How about you? Any plans for summer travel?

*** I wonder when will Webster's start including "staycation" in their dictionary? ***