Friday, August 1, 2008

Obsession Confession

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned, it has been a while since my last confession - in fact, this is my first on these pages...

I have obsessions.

Some are good, like being obsessed with my family’s welfare.

Some are bad, like my obsession for being lazy, and eating everything in sight.

I go to work, and try to eke out a living that is good enough to supply the basic necessities of family life, you know food, shelter and the like (the like being a Wii, PS2, Beer).

I sit on my couch, enjoying a good book or television show (although they are getting harder and harder to find). Maybe the writers should go back on strike, until they can come up with an original idea – I’m sure there are a few left.

I am a huge fan of a certain mouse.

Okay, technically, I’m not that big of a fan of Mickey Mouse (Go Goofy!!), but I do love his house, especially the one in Florida, where we will be in December (6-14), some 125 days away – but who’s counting.

I am obsessed with becoming a writer, but only as far as my self-esteem will allow me.

You know Grumpy is seriously misunderstood, but very popular. Why is that? I mean I would think that Happy would be promoted more, or Sleepy, Bashful, Doc and Sneezy. Dopey has a huge following as well; I think that Disney is colluding against five of their dwarves.

I love to read – almost anything. Romance novels are not my cup of tea, just like adventure novels may not be someone else’s. I love a good mystery, and can tolerate some horror.

Why am I telling you this? Because I am sure that others share the same obsessions, especially the Disney one – I mean have you seen all of the blogs dedicated to Disney themes? It is crazy! It is cool! It is crazy-cool!!

So, why the heck am I bothering to tell you these obsessions?

Because I have two, no three, new ones and I feel that it is important to get this information out there.

Consider it a public safety announcement.

A public safety announcement without the benefit of star power and only being broadcast in this section of the blog universe, for you and me, and my family that is here to help you and them (maybe even me).

What are these obsessions, you are asking, nay demanding?

The first one is Jelly Belly Belly Flops ®.

What are Belly Flops®? They are irregular jellybeans. They are irregular jellybeans that are sold in two-pound packages at about four dollars a pound. If you have ever bought Jelly Belly’s® before, you know that the going rate for them is closer to eight dollars a pound. They still taste great just look weird. As the package says:

“These special beans taste great, but don’t quite meet all of our demanding standards for size, color, shape and flavor.”

Pretty awesome, isn’t it?

My next latest obsession is a frozen dark-purple drink known as a Monster Black Ice Slurpee™. These are freaking awesome! They also come with some pretty cool aluminum straws, in at least four different colors; orange, green, purple and red.

I can’t get enough! They make me bounce off a wall, or two. They make me explore things that I normally wouldn’t explore. I won’t mention what it is, but if you have ever had anything grape flavored, or at least purple, you will know of what I am speaking. It’s a guy thing. I think I have said too much.

Finally, my latest obsession is a social networking site known as Plurk. You can see a widget for it on the side, over there – on the right, about halfway down the page. I have “met” many friends there, and made some as well. In fact, I think that I have befriended most of the Plurkers (that is what we are called) from Birmingham, Alabama.

Pretty cool, don’t you think?

So what could be wrong with my new obsessions, you ask? Well, the Jelly Belly’s® are adding to my weight issues, so it MUST be stopped. Of course, we just had someone stop by the factory in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin and pick up twelve (yes, I wrote twelve) two-pound bags of Belly Flops®.

Uh oh.

I’m not sure about the nutrition facts of a Monster Black Ice Slurpee™, but I am sure that it is probably more than my Arizona® Diet Green Tea, which does not have any adverse effect on my GI tract. The problems being that the guys that work for me know that I like them, and try to bribe me with them. I can’t be rude and not accept said bribe, now can I? It would not be a good thing to have someone’s feelings get hurt, just because the drink may or may not be good for me, now would it?

Maybe.

Plurking has yet to cause any fights at home, although Danny came by to say good night to me once, and I said, “Okay.” He stood there for a bit, confused, and then kicked me in the shins to pull me away from the computer monitor. So maybe I should keep my plurking obsession to after nine post meridian, to save my shins from getting bruised too much. Or at work, but I do not advice that situation for anybody, especially myself, knowing my history with the IT police.

There, I feel better now. I appreciate your time, and will now go and pray a few Hail Mary’s to ease my guilt.

Have a great evening!

I know that I will be popping Jelly Flops® and washing them down with a Monster Black Ice Slurpee™, while plurking myself.

See you there!