Essays on Life, Liberty the Pursuit of Happiness, and a Picture or Two.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Proper English, It's Not Just For Grammar Nazi's
On his 64th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby Indian reservation, which was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he would be getting.
The old medicine man slowly, methodically produced a potion, said some words in his native language and handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine, and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3'." "When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
The medicine man replied, "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4.' But when she does the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited
his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife became very excited and began throwing off her clothes, but then asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, my friends, is why you should never end a sentence with a preposition, because you could end up with a dangling participle.