Monday, March 3, 2008

My Humorous, or Maybe Humor-Less List. Depends On Your Point of View, I Imagine.

I think that I am only going to have time for a list today, sorry. Anyway, here goes:

This list is a cheap and probably sexist example of a list that I receive in my email box every now and again, you can hate me for posting it, but remember after seven more posts, it will be gone from my front page... :)


(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying RAM IT!!!!!!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Hope you enjoyed my sexist post, it should be the last. Maybe. I have a few more ideas for new lists, which will appear here in the near future. I'll just figure on posting from work instead of waiting for Benjy to get off of the computer.

Good Night and God Bless!