Thursday, January 19, 2012

A Whole Bunch of Silly Going On


As you may or may not know, I have been writing seven hundred and fifty words (at a minimum) per day for the past few months and I occasionally post what I write there, here. This is the case here. Now mind you, this is totally silly and off the cuff and it was basically fifteen minutes of straight typing and "story telling" going on here. There will be grammatical and spelling issues so if anyone doesn't like that sort of thing, you have been warned. Hope you enjoy it.


Na na na na hey hey hey good bye!

I have no idea what that was about but it popped into my head and I shared it with you, who is me, who is we and we all can come together, right now.

Blah de blah de blah hot chocolate and apple sauce along with a banana and there will be fighting in the trenches no doubt and we are all going to die, someday. So why not go out with a bang, right?

So do we take our hot little sports car and drive it as fast as we can towards that wall at the end of the block, just remember that we have several gallons of fuel siting there next to you and you can be smoking or something just to make it all flame out big time because well, you really want to make a show. So why not call the police and the news and have them witness it and save it for all posterity and such. Think about how infamous you will become as your images will continue to play through at least three news cycles and if you leave a letter behind you can make it so that when they finally find it they will all marvel at the maturity of your response to the current situation that you are in and then you will flip the page and there will be a picture of your sister in ;law naked on face book because she has not a ounce of maturity or intelligence in her body.

Chocolate!

Or we can have aliens flying by in their space cruiser decide that they want to show us puny earthlings a thing or two so they come by really really close to the planet, close enough that the actually knock the moon off of it's orbit and sends it flying through the galaxy towards lord knows where and it doesn't really matter since they are also responsible for knocking the earth off of its orbital path and send it hurling towards the sun, or would that be hurdling towards the sun, or gurtingly towards the sun... okay that is just being silly, but who cares since the planet is on a crash course with the sun and you have done the math and you realize that we are only ninety some odd million miles away from that gaseous orb in  the sky that has nothing but bad intentions on its mind. After all it thinks that we are attacking it, even though Venus and mercury saw the whole thing and mars thinks it did, but the same space cruiser actually knocked them a little silly and... remember that moon of ours? well as you can imagine the shock of mars as it looks up into the sky and sees a new satellite in its sky and realizes that they are about to either have high tides or a really really big whole in the planet. So what do you think is going to happen? Why Bruce Willis will board a space shuttle and sacrifice himself for the planet by taking a HUGE tow rope out there and wrapping it around the equator so that he can tow the planet back into its normal orbit because that is what Bruce Willis does. Only there is a small problem, NASA decided to retire the shuttles and put them in the Smithsonian and a couple other places so we have to rely on some Russian or French ship that just doesn't have the horsepower needed to tow a planet. Now I know what you are saying... "Roger, there is no friction in space and no one can hear you scream, so why not take the soyuz thing and push the planet?" .... That is pretty much the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and I am not even going to think about it anymore. But you did give me an idea... everyone sends their missiles up up and away into the sky, towards the sun and that will push the planet back, right? Okay, that's pretty lame too, so where are we?

Bruce Willis takes the newest Virgin spaceship up into the sky, with Richard Branson, mostly because well, he looks good on the camera, has a pretty awesome accent  and well he doesn't like to share much. So they get a big rope wrapped around the equator and then attach it to the space ship that Virgin has donmated to the cause and Bruce and Richard step on the gas and the planet starts to move... towards the sun. Which is actually the way you want to go because they willactually be pulling the planet back into its orbital path quicker that way and they warned everyone to wear their highest SPF sunscreen, just in case. Except that Al Gore says that because of their actions the planet is warming up and the glaciers are melting which means the oceans are rising, blah, blah, blah and DUH! So he has the brilliant idea to take one of his many yachts out to the equator and cuts the rope!

Yes he did.

He is stupid that way.

So what happens? Well Bruce and Richard are pulling on the planet and when the tension is released in the rope they get shot into the sun - bye by e Mr Willis and Mr Branson (Maybe). The earth meanwhile is violently pulled towards the sun where it will then be consumed in a great ball of flame and all life on the planet ends.

Meanwhile....

Bruce and Richard actually shot through and past the sun and actually knock the moon off of its course towards mars and they land safely on that planet where they are welcomed as heroes and new rulers to the realm of mars... Oh, did I mention that Richard brought along a couple of young ladies, figuring that he and Bruce would be celebrating the earth being saved and all, and join the multi-million mile high club, but now they are rulers of mars and are each given half the planet to rule as they please.

Moral of the story? It's good to be Bruce Willis.