What Happened?

I wish I knew.

All I know is that after nearly eight full months*, I didn't post yesterday.

Funny thing though, I thought I did.

Seriously, I honestly thought I wrote and posted something yesterday. It was all about our day taking Andy to college. With a lot more detail, in fact, it was one of the better things I had written, full of drama, humor and all the good things that I think I like to do - or something like that.

Problem is, I didn't. Trust me I checked to see if maybe I forgot to hit post and it was left as a draft. No such luck. I even thought about doing a quick fake and posting something post(or would it be pre) dated. Alas, I chose to live with it, because I honestly have to be honest with myself and with all of you faithful readers.

Truth be told, I was kind of just winging it the past couple of days, and this was bound to have an affect on my readership, if it hadn't already (comments have been nil as of late).

So, what do I do from here? Well, I can start another streak, or I can concentrate on giving a better product and maybe post only five times a week, or less. Knowing myself, like I do, I will probably start up another streak, or try to be more like some of you out there that I read, and post three or four times a day - no, not stories, more like a quote, an editorial on a news story, a funny story, a joke... and more pictures.

We'll see.

*268 posts in 240 days

The Plan Was

I'm not sure, especially since I have so many different varieties out there to choose from. :)

I think it should include something along the lines of starting out a little earlier though, because this old body is apparently getting tired of being up late.

It also makes a whole lot less sense after it leaves my mind.

So where was I?

See what I mean?

Of course you don't, because these are just words on a monitor, not in my head.

I think I shall stop while I am.

Ahead that is.

What Do You Get?

Take an early wake-up call.

A lot of rain.

A car that decides to take matters unto itself and make a difficult decision, easier.

A lot more rain.

Beautiful countryside.

Some crazy yellow shirts, in the rain.

A finicky loft.

A faulty futon.

Nice roommate.

Helpful family.

Interesting Mass.

Really lame attempt at self-importance.

A professor that cannot read his own type-written speech.

Proof that Iowans do not know how to make a proper bratwurst.

More rain.

Limited tears.

Lots of drama.

More tears.

No rain. Yay!

Low air pressure.

Return of the rain.

It all adds up to a really long day, and an interesting story that I hope to do some justice to... later. (I am one tired daddy!) Nonetheless, we are now one 18 year old light of a full house.

Best of luck Andy, we know that you will do great. All our love and support!

Andy is...

Off to College.






Knock 'em dead!

Now Comes the Hard Part

I'm taking tomorrow off at work. No, that isn't so hard really. The hard part I am talking about is actually coming on Thursday, when Andy leaves for college. Needless to say that there are a plethora of emotions running through my head, as well as Jenni's. So please forgive me if I'm brief tonight, I am trying to gather my thoughts on what this whole thing means.

Thanks.

Something To Think About

Watch the five and a half minutes, and learn...

It Didn't Even Reach Seventy

I think.

Did we notice that the calendar says August 22?

August, as in the month thrown in with the "Dog days of summer?"

Yo, Mr. Former Vice President that is making a lot of money from scaring people about the whole environment thingy, being our - as in humans - fault.

Take another toke, because whatever you are smoking, sure isn't common sense.

I shall step down now, and go find my down comforter.

Talented?

Today I was watching Timmy while he was playing around on his changing table - he was happy, so why move him, right?

So, as I was standing there, I had that familiar rumble in my tummy that said, "Dude, let me out!"

I did.

I'll let Danny tell the rest of this story.

"Dad, that was AWESOME!"

Such a proud moment.

Statistics

Statistics are an amazing thing, just ask any statistician.

There are statistics for weather, cancer risk, death, you name it and there is a statistic for it. The most amazing place where statistics are kept is in sports, in particular, Major League Baseball.

Example: Currently, as I type this, the Cubs and Dodgers are tied in the top of the sixth inning at 2-2. Chicago has a runner on second and there is one out. Baker came up to bat and the Cubs were a projected winner at 52%, one ball and it drops to 51%. The count goes to 1 and 1 and the percentage changes to 50%. Baker grounds out to third, leaving the runner on second and now the Dodgers are favored to win at 54%.

I ask, who the heck keeps track of such minutia? How can they track you chances of winning based on the pitch count, inning, runners on base, etc? Is it a human being doing all of this? Do you think they get out much? I mean my head is spinning just trying to follow my own logic, let alone the minute statistics that appear on the Gamecast. Wow.

By the way, bottom of the sixth and the Dodgers are now up to 60%.

I'm going to sleep now.

Introducing...

The Disney Files! *loud applause*

That's right, I'm going to take a little foray into the wonderful world of Walt Disney, specifically Walt Disney World.

Why am I going to do this?

Because I can, of course. Also, because I feel that I can share some of my experiences with anyone that reads this. I can tell you what it feels like to have a whole lot of things go wrong, and share the rights and wrongs when that happens. Most importantly though, I can share with you my family's experiences when it goes so right.

My plan is to do this once a week, probably on Wednesdays, you know for alliteration purposes, plus it will give me a chance to give you some good quality stuff, maybe even with pictures - I have plenty of them.

So, what do you think? Good idea? Only time will tell I guess.

Oh, just so you know, this isn't just going to be my experiences, I will have my kid's thoughts, Jenni's and my in-laws (they just didn't know about it, until now), as they are reading this.

Surprise!

Colonial Conquests

Discovery Channel has a show called The Colony on. I had never seen it before tonight, but had heard a few people mention it and say that it was pretty good. Want to know what I thought? Lots of commercials, especially the new Gatorade one.

As for the show, interesting. Basically they put a group of people together, from what I gathered in the show I watched, in a post-apocalyptic world. Then they let the "fun" begin. I'm not sure how "realistic" it is, with all the camera crews, etc. but from what I saw, it looks like only a couple people really know what to do.

Like I said, it was only one show. Will I watch it again? Maybe. Will I schedule it on my DVR? Nope. It didn't really grab me, except maybe that Gatorade drink.

Now that looked interesting.

An Unveiling

If you have been following along with this blog for a while, then you know that I have mentioned a new "plan" for the direction that I will be going. I think that this "plan" will prove to be a boon to my existence here on the Internet, or life will continue moving along as always.

Either way, I'm cool with that.

So what is it i plan to do?

Good question, and I am sure that you will figure it out soon enough. Just think about things that I enjoy and feel very passionate about.

See you tomorrow. :)

Say What?

Ever hear a song that has a catchy beat and what you think is catchy lyrics, only to find out that what you thought you were hearing is altogether different.

Here are some examples, enjoy...

(Special Hat Tip to Laura and Rose who brought the first one to my attention while they were attending Timothy's baptism party, "not my A not my A, not my not my A")

I'm Gonna Ramble On

Because I can.

...My hands are killing me, because they had to do some actual physical labor. What was I thinking.

Oh, and I am a wimp.

...NCIS is still one of the coolest shows that I am watching right now, well that and Doctor Who, oh and Warehouse 13, and Dora the Explorer.

Where'd that come from?

...I have a plan and it all stems from trying to give my cousin some help. I figure that I can do this fairly well, so why not?

That's it for now, because I tease.

...Not worried about the Denver Broncos, thanks for asking. I mean it IS only pre-season, and these games don't count for real and for my fantasy teams.

Are you ready for some football?

...Done rambling, back to NCIS.

I love my DVR.

Looking Forward to the Weekend!

Yard work!

At least until the sun decides to come up and cook my noggin.'

Oh and I have a new plan!

Pass the Excedrin

Imagine if you will a room of twenty-eight construction workers with hammers, very big hammers.

Now, imagine that these twenty-eight workers with very big hammers are inside your head, which if you were imagining this scenario, they would be.

Finally, these twenty-eight workers, with very big hammers, that are inside your head have a very strong desire to get out of their prison by utilizing said hammers of very large size. In case you aren't following along, the prison would be your head.

So, we now have a group of very large and muscular workers, with very large hammers, that are in a prison and have a very strong desire to escape, while utilizing the very large hammers that they are banging against the walls of this prison, in no particular cadence at all.

Probably would be very loud.

Definitely would be very painful and annoying.

Welcome to my head.

Good night.

A Little Something You Should Know...

I DO NOT like the heat.

I especially do not like the heat mixed with the humidity.

Call me a wimp, whatever.

Oh, and in case you were thinking it's because of my XXXL size, it has nothing to do with it, I promise. I could be just an L and I would still hate the heat and humidity.

Unfortunately, I live in Chicago, and have to deal with it for at least two months a year (we're not going to mention the whole, but you love going to Disney World and it's all hot and humid, blah, blah, blah. That is SO different, because they have magic water that enables me to tolerate it better - no such water here.) and those are the times of the year I really don't like living here. Believe it or not, I'd rather have it be thirty below.

Weird, I know. But the way I see it, you can always wear more layers in the winter. In the summer, you can only get so naked. So there.

I honestly believe that I wasn't feeling well last night because of the heat. How? Great question. Because we had Timmy's baptism yesterday, we had to celebrate - it's a tradition. Anyway, we had it over at my in-laws house ( by the way, THEY ARE AWESOME!!) and we can't fit all fifty odd people in the house, and it didn't feel too bad on the deck, with the breeze, plus the conversation was great, so why go inside.

In hindsight, that uneasy feeling in my tummy might have been telling me something. Oh well, you live and you learn, not that I needed an additional reason to hate the heat, but that will be added to the list.

Besides if it was thirty below, who in their right mind would be outside talking, right?

In This Corner...

We have M - the Good Ol Boy (GOB), from Alabama, or is it South Carolina? It depends on which state is in his favor at the time, I guess. Actually, he grew up in Alabama, but lived in South Carolina for a long period of time, so he is comfortable with either. A little history, GOB is an alcoholic with a bad temper, he got busted for DUI a couple of years ago, and hasn't had a drink since. He actually abandoned his job a couple of years ago, we hired him back because he is a good worker and everyone deserves a second chance. He is also quite conservative, loud, dyslexic, and has a problem with pronouncing some words.

His crime: Upsetting Fnewgy (F-ing New Guy), with a reference of "Your boy Obama" and "Obama lover" (the last of which was actually said to me in a private conversation and not directed to Fnewgy, and it was actually directed towards "Obama lovers.")

Over in the other corner we have R - Fnewgy, also can be referred to as PITA, and Super Arrogant Ass, for this narration, we will call him Fnewgy, because the narrator likes this name, a lot. Fnewgy was hired on by us approximately nine months ago, within two weeks he pretty much alienated everyone. EVERYONE. He sent a note complaining about being call "new guy" by everyone, because well, he was the new guy. It had nothing to do with his skills, or anything other than the fact that he was the new guy. A friend of ours actually gave us the term Fnewgy, and it has stuck. He has sent, a minimum of, three letters to HR regarding some petty little thing like being called "new guy" or being asked to help the team out in areas other than his primary area, but he refused because he wasn't trained. It was to help out in shipping and receiving, not the assembly of rockets. He also refused to do some repairs on certain test equipment because he "doesn't get paid enough" to do that, which is funny because when he was complaining about being called the "new guy" he claimed that he could run circles around everyone in the lab with his knowledge base. Finally he felt that he was being harassed by GOB with all of the Obama references.

Enough background? Not yet. GOB is former Army and Navy (yep, he was crazy enough to join two branches of the military), Fnewgy was, uh, Coast Guard. Both men are in their fifties, with Fnewgy being older than GOB. Fnewgy also has a temper and has on many different occasions been known to get a little loud when trying to make a point, and he feels that former president GW Bush ruined his life and made him lose over a quarter a million dollars. I'm thinking hyperbole on that last point.

On to the Main Event...

It all started with this email sent on Monday:

Subject: Political personal attacks

GOB

I am sick and tired of your attacks on me Political personal attacks will no longer be tolerated. I heard your remark to Roger (yep that's me) about the "Obama Lover". Not to mention Friday's "Your Boy Obama" comment.

If you make even one more such attack I will make such a stink with HR that you may NOT survive. I am sure (My Company) does not want a law suite over your attacks. I am just the person to do it!

KNOCK IT OFF!!!!

If Roger(me again) and J(my boss) cannot get you to stop I'll get HR to do it.

Notice I did not send this to HR. This time!

Fnewgy

As you can see, Fnewgy was mad. Hence the red ink. No his email wasn't in red ink, sheesh. Just trying to lighten the tension around here.

So J decided that a meeting today would be necessary to calm the situation down. It was scheduled to start at eleven, but after he and I discussed it for a little bit, he figured why not start it now, at 9:15.

No Problem.

"GOB, Fnewgy, into J's office now. We're moving up our meeting."

At this point I am stalling, well actually talking to several other members of my team about a variety of things; one wanted to know if I needed anything from the gas station (no), another needed some paperwork corrected (done), a third wanted to discuss the weather (put that one on hold), and finally someone wanted to talk about some test equipment that could not be found (gonna have to wait on that as well). This whole time Fnewgy is waiting, and steaming. I have no idea why, I mean he did write the email. I told him that I would be right there, as nature had to make a call. Lots of green tea does that to a bladder.

I find Fnewgy waiting outside of J's office. Apparently he didn't want me to miss a thing. I should thank him someday.

A paraphrase:

We opened the door and Fnewgy starts yelling right away:

"I am pissed off right now about all these personal political attacks that are being blah, blah, blah" (I had to blah, blah, blah it because I almost busted out laughing, I mean it was surreal watching this man that is old enough to be my father, yelling at another man that could be my uncle.)

J says "Whoa, no need to get all excited. Let's be calm and rational her." I have to give him credit for a) not cracking up and b) actually calming Fnewgy down. J then laid out the ground rules (quiet discussion, no yelling, etc) and then gave the floor to Fnewgy.

"I am sick and blah, blah, blah, Political personal attacks, blah, blah, blah, my team of litigators (wow, he has a team of litigators? threatening, no?) will bring a lawsuit against you GOB for $1 million (oh yes he did), and J and My Company, and will settle for $250,000 and GOB being out of a job."

Sorry again for the paraphrasing, but I did hit the high points.

GOB started by saying "I want to apologize if I offended you in any way..."

"Your apology isn't worth spit." (oh yes he did)

Remember, way up there, how I mention a certain GOB and his temper? Yeah, I was shocked that I wasn't witnessing an ass-kicking, as well.

Notice that GOB allowed Fnewgy the chance to get everything off of his chest, whereas Fnewgy immediately shot down GOB's apology? Yep, I'm probably thinking the same thing as you all reading this, why oh why, is he still with us? Must be his team of litigators - WTF? Maybe that's what he lost all his money on, eh?

In the end, they both agreed to disagree, with Fnewgy stating that he doesn't hold any grudges (but has a team of litigators), whereas the GOB was honest and said that he did. (Another smirk on my part - I couldn't help myself).

J and I had so much fun, that we treated the lab to lunch.

I'll fill in any blanks that I think will make me, and you, laugh if I think of more. As for now, James Bond is on, so...

On My Mind

The story was there, in all of it's glory, yet I couldn't quite grasp it. Only bits of character flaws were reaching my conscious mind; six feet four inches tall, red hair, red beard, a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, a double-barrelled shotgun and a lazy diner in Iowa. Also there is the figure of $11 million and the fact that the guy wore a faded American flag bandanna.

Wow.

Now if I can just put it all together. Was the man bitter about something? Did he want to hurt somebody, anybody, every body?

These are some of the things that have been bothering me for a very long time. I have no idea why, just that it is there and won't go away, almost like I am responsible for its release. The problem is, I am missing a few details and whenever I think of something, it just doesn't feel right.

Lately, I've been envisioning caves, more specifically a cave. An awesome cave. One that is large enough for more than one person to live in and is pretty much self-sufficient, and it needs to be, because we are in a post-apocalyptic age, but how did it get there? Is red beard the owner, or just an occupant?

Ooh, another image popped into my head, a long overcoat, a duster I believe, leather and black.

Then it's gone.

Stupid Burger King commercial comes on the television at a volume that is way, way louder than the previous program was/is. Very annoying. Almost as annoying as changing the name of the channel from Sci-Fi to SyFy. Makes no sense.

Kind of like this post, no doubt, but it had to be said, it had to be released, it's my little notebook if you will.

***

Gonna be a fun day at work tomorrow, Fnewgy will have to actually talk to the Good Ol Boy, and I get a front row. Yay. Not.

Thanks for allowing my vent, more later. :-)

The Natives Are Restless

Well Fnewgy is any way.

I think that's how I spell it. It's a name for our newest employee that has stuck. Imagine FNG, with no swearing.

Anyway, this guy has been a problem since day twelve. I guess he just had to work himself up into a lather, or something like that.

First he didn't like us calling him the new guy, because he has over twenty years of experience and I am NOT a NEW guy!!!!

Seriously. I was shocked, I mean did he not realize that he was the newest employee, hence the new guy? Sure we were joking (key word here, and he new we were joking) about him having to buy donuts every Friday for the first four weeks he worked there. Everyone else has done it, and had fun with it. Not Fnewgy, nope he writes a letter to HR to complain.

Next, he was offended that we even dared to ask him to help out in other areas of the shop. He'd reply that he wasn't trained in shipping and receiving. My goodness, it's opening and packing boxes, not rocket science.

Then he was mad that he was getting $6 an hour less than someone he felt had inferior skills. I would be too, but again, it was a joke, and in his little hissy fit, he pretty much told everyone that he was one of the higher paid employees.

Next, he said that he didn't know how to do repairs on the oscilloscopes. This from the same guy that said he had more experience and know-how than anyone else in the lab. We actually hired him to do repairs, and pointed that out to him. We had a private meeting where he came thisclose to admitting that he didn't get paid enough to do anything above and beyond what he was currently doing. I still assign him oscilloscope work, even repairs, and guess what? He does know how to do them. He probably thinks we will reward him for such a stellar job of doing his job. Can't wait to see his face when that doesn't pan out. He'll probably bring up the fact that his wife gets paid more than he does. (she's had the same job at the same company for over twenty years, she probably even deserves it).

There is plenty more to fill in some of the gaps along the way, but it might start sounding like gossip. Okay, too late for that, but I have to share his latest tirade from today.

We are all former military men in our lab. We are all pretty much conservative as well. He was in the Coast Guard and thinks that GWBush ruined his business. Yeah, because the President of the United States has time to do that. Anyway, chit chat happens, and apparently Fnewgy thinks that he is being personally attacked. He has even threatened to take it all the way to HR and make this one guy (a good ol boy from South Carolina, or is it Alabama?) pay with his job. He said our company wouldn't survive the "law suite" (his spelling, not mine) that he would bring upon the company, blah, blah, blah.

I have three words for him.

Just Shut Up!!

The good ol boy feels that he and Fnewgy should meet up in the parking lot - I talked him out of that, but I won't always be around, so Fnewgy better be careful. Although I am sure that he would have his 'team of lawyers' lying in wait.

And to think I thought I left the children at home.