Phase Two - Photographic Essay (With some words)

Welcome to the Phase Two Photographic Essay...

I will try to limit my wit, but sometimes I just can't help myself. :)

Meet the Head-Banger...

The Head-Banger is synonymous for, well, banging one's head on. Hard to imagine, right? What with it being all of two feet above the stove. At least it kept me from safely looking into a pot - only a few minor burns...

This would be me inspecting the top of the Head-Banger...

Why you ask? Isn't it obvious? Momma never lets me climb on the counter tops, so... I found an opportunity and I took it! That and I wanted to share a life lesson with Mr. Lee, aka Cubbie, about why marriage is such a joy, because you get to do projects like this.

He is starting to seriously consider the seminary I think. :)

What's a project without a little demolition? Need I say more? I thought not.

Here's a close-up of the damage, with a little birdy* in the attic.

*that would be Benjy, in case you were wondering.

Look ma! We got ourselves a crack!

No, don't look at that, look at me, holding up the H-B! That is what is important here. The crack will just have to wait for another day/post.

Maybe.

Okay, I really thought that I had adjusted this picture so it was right side up, unfortunately, I was wrong.

Those of you with laptops can still enjoy the artistry, just tip your laptop clockwise ninety degrees, and there you have it. :)

One of us needs to lose some weight, I mean really Roger, what will your family think?

You don't want to know, I imagine.

Actually, you can probably guess.

There's Benjy again...This is the ugly old stove...

This is kind of what it looks like now. I know, can you believe that we don't have a picture of the hole? So, I started to play with paint and... well, I need some practice, I think.

That's it. And that is as far as I have gotten, so far.

Hey! I work during the week, give me a break.

I think that I am supposed to sand the old hardwood this weekend... too bad there won't be any sanders available for rental...

Shhh. Don't tell.

I leave you with a two and three year old playing on the trampoline - in a driving rain storm...

Or through a screen at least.

Sheesh, you all must think I am something awful.

American Idol note... Go David!

I can't lose with that one. :)

Good Night and God Bless!

I Think I want To Cry

Dear Rain,

Have I got a song for you...

'Rain, rain go away, come again another day...'

Sure it's going to be 70 tomorrow, BUT rain all day Thursday AND Friday. I wonder if the kids will ever get to play soccer this season. Must be making up for all of the non-rain out days over the past seven seasons.

What? You want it All back now?

Dear State of Illinois,

Okay, I get the fact that it was Cubbie's first tax year to file, but really, rejecting it because I wrote out his entire middle name (like you asked for on the form), when all you needed was the first letter. Couldn't you guys have figured that out, I mean it is the FIRST LETTER?!?!?

Not that it matters, because he owes nothing and is getting nothing back. It's just annoying because, well, today is THE day!

On the bright side, it looks like my bank account will have some extra federal stimulus around May 9. Disney Here We Come!!

And people gives us a hard time for having six kids, sheesh!

Dear Letters committee,

I think I am at a point where I don't want to write letters anymore. They are kind of lame lately and I don't really like lame. I'll give it another day or two. Maybe.

Have a good night and God Bless!

P.S. - Don't forget to keep Jordan in your prayers, she could use the comfort.

A View From the North Side...

Dear Andy,

I am enjoying your new blog, and see that you are very adept at writing long posts that make way more sense than mine. Maybe I should practice more. :)

Seriously, I am very proud of what you have done, and you just keep proving to me and your mother that you do indeed know what you are doing. We should just relax about the whole homework thing, or should I say lack of homework? But I must digress, after all I will need more material for later. Maybe.

I am glad that you have finally jumped on the band wagon of your local sports teams. I love the fact that you get excited at the prospect of going to a Cubs game, when before it used to be a rather lackadaisical attitude at best. Now, a new season doesn't come around without you asking if we can get tickets for this game or that. I just wish we could go for more.

As I have told you many times, that 'money tree' is long gone, and the new one just isn't coming up. :)

Anyway, just thought that I would drop you a line and plug your blog. Also, I wanted to encourage the four of you reading this to check it out as well. Just don't tell him that you are a White Sox or Cardinals fan, otherwise he might just have to ban you.

Good Night and God Bless!!

P.S. Don't forget about Jordan.

The Grand Finale

Okay, I don't know how grand it will actually be, but this is it. The last day of March, thus the last day of lists. (Yippee!!)

So, what kind of list will I make? Definitely not one with 100 points to it. That's just CRAZY!

Can I have a list of one? Has that ever been done before? Let's try it okay?

Actually, I think that would be cheating so I will just go with what is in my head (I know, scary) and we will see where it ends up.

THINGS IN MY HEAD

1. Why do the Presidential candidates all SUCK this year? I mean really. I'm not buying Obama's shtick, can't really stand Clinton, and McCain well let's just say I'm not particularly fond of him. The person running for President that I agreed the most with, would probably have to be Ron Paul. Except for maybe the wackier parts - whatever that means.

2. Why is it that Benjy can NEVER get to bed before 11PM

3. Now that the snow is gone, can we have a little sunshine instead of rain.

4. Please.

5. Pretty Please.

6. Do I really want to make a commitment and go back to school? Will I be able to do it and still provide for my family? Ugh. Why do I have to grow up. :)

7. FTB is playing softball now. This is SO cool!

8. Cuddlebug and FTB are doing Irish Step dancing, again, so cool!

9. Baby Girl is going to Disney in a little more than five weeks. My how time just flies.

10. I want to be a successful writer someday, that is what I think I truly want to do with my life. Now why can't I get off my lazy butt and do something about it. There are at least 20 good, if not great, novels in my head. Heck I even have actors in mind to play the parts in the movies. ( Sorry for the bad sentence, it's getting late).

11. I love God and everything that goes along with that. Just try to prove to me that God doesn't exist. Go ahead, give it your best shot.

12. I love my wife. There is no better person in the world for me than Jenni. I really don't know what I would do without her, and don't want to find out.

13. I love all my children and pray that they will grow up to be great pillars in society, or at least whatever town they end up in. And all their kids are just like them! :)

14. I don't really care for my job, and I am afraid that I will be stuck there for a really long time, unless I do something about it. (Like write your freaking novels already!!)

15. I love having conversations with myself. (And apparently sharing them with you.)

16. Is there anything better than ice-cold water to drink?

17. Ice-cold Diet Coke.

18. I'm tired.

19. How the heck am I going to write thirty letters next month, and be entertaining, and thought-provoking, and funny, and I used a lot of "ands" in that sentence. "Ands" looks funny, even in quotations.

20. Check out the awesome two-plus minute video that my son put together. It's down there. Under this post, you can't miss it. Really, just go. This is the last thing on this list anyway.

Good Night and God Bless!!

My Son, The Director

He and his friends from the Peer Ministry Team made this rules video for their upcoming Spring Retreat. I think it is pretty good. What do you all think?

Panic in Bugland!!

Now why, dear friends, would your lovable Bug be panicking you ask? Could it be that he doesn't have a new and really awesome list for you tonight? Naw, I never know until I sit down, and the mood takes me over....

Maybe it's because six of the seven most important people in his life are in Iowa? Could be, but a hotel room with this cough would be tough on everyone, and the Bug would be sleeping out in the car. I do miss them though, at least Andy and the movie "Across The Universe" will keep him company.

Ooh, one of my favorite scenes is on right now... Jim Sturgess singing 'I've Just Seen A Face' in a bowling alley - good times! Oh, and I am being serious. The only part(s) of this movie I don't like are the circus bit, and weird mermaid bit that follows Bono's version of 'I Am the Walrus.' Again. I am totally serious.

Back to my panic. You see, I have several computers in my household, some more useful than others. However, I have one, that used to be my main home computer, until... well I have six kids, five of which are pretty good at using these blasted things, and, well you get the picture. So, Jenni and I bought ourselves our own computer, deemed to be "kid-free." Apparently the kids found some sort of loophole in the ruling, or went to the 9Th Circuit Court of Appeals (the bane of normal thinking Americans, in my most humble opinion), and have slowly taken over this computer. I don't even want to talk about "my" laptop.

ANYWAY - my what tangents I can start to weave, (ugh!) sorry. Me and my muse.

Like I was saying, the computer downstairs was the main computer, then one day it decided that it didn't want to be a part of the family and *poof!* bye-bye music, photos, tax returns, etc. We took it to a friend of ours, who likes tinkering with these beasts and... well it runs. Unfortunately, for us, it seems to be tied directly to our connectivity issues here.

See where the panic started, yet?

When the computer downstairs is off, the Internet runs smooth and wonderful. I would say that it is Comcastic - but we don't use them for that. :) That's a personal commentary for some other time.

Cubbie likes to make movies, either homemade ones or edited versions of others. For instance, a friend of his doesn't really care for the whole circus/mermaid thing either. So she asked him to edit it out. All well and good, except that he needs to use the ... you guessed it ... downstairs computer. So, here it is coming on 10:30PM locally, and I have yet to make a blog entry. Bad news for a Blog365 guy like myself. I need a list as well, so I called Jenni to do it for me... no Internet at the hotel (what kind of torture palace did I send her and the kids to?)

I was seriously contemplating going to work to blog - Folks, what is wrong with THAT picture.

Oh well, Cubbie being the good sport that he is, and the fact that I was possibly going to tear up here, said that he could kill the computer downstairs and allow me to blog.

Aren't my kids the BEST!!

A Movie List (Make That Movie Quotes)

My blogging buddy The Philosopher-Mom had this on her site, and I completely bombed it, so... I figured I would borrow it. Now, mine will be very, very easy - think of the movies I would more than likely be seeing, right? Anyway, here goes:


MEMORABLE MOVIE QUOTES (that the Bug can remember, kind of. )

1. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." (see easy)

2. "We've known each other for many years but this is the first time you've ever come to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is Godmother to your only child. But, let's be frank here. You never wanted my friendship and you were afraid to be in my debt."

3. "What did I do to deserve this? I've never lied, except when necessary, and I always bought mom and dad expensive gifts... using their credit card of course."

4. "I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is."

5. "Hiding behind your little friend won't work anymore. Didn't I tell you? We got fired this morning. New rules."

6. "Now it isn't that I don't like you, Susan, because, after all, in moments of quiet, I'm strangely drawn toward you, but - well, there haven't been any quiet moments. "

7. "A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true."

8. "Fraulein, is it to be at every meal, or merely at dinnertime, that you intend on leading us all through this rare and wonderful new world of... indigestion?"

9. "You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell."

10. "There's no way on earth we're going to get out of here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak."

11. "*Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish."

12. "If you're so smart, tell me something, how come you go to M.I.T. for 8 years to become a cable repairman?"


Okay, there is a fun dozen quotes for you, and the whole family got involved. How? Good question. Quote #2 came from Cubbie's movie choice, #3 from FTB, #4 from Benjy, #6 from Cuddle bug, #7 from Baby Girl, #8,9, and 10 are from Jenni, the rest are my fault.

Hope you enjoyed it, and let me know how you did, guess-wise, they are pretty easy - maybe. :)

Have a good night. God Bless.

A Few More Changes

I got called out this evening.

Apparently LHS, doesn't like being called LHS. So I need a new nickname. Also, he doesn't like the nicknames for #2 and #5. So to show that I am quite the compassionate father that I claim - okay, I never really claimed it, but it sounds good, right? Right?

So here come some changes, and not just for #1, formerly LHS. Now, let's work this out together, shall we?

#1 - He is a he. So it has to have a male connotation, otherwise he might get really upset. So names like Suzy Snowflake, are out. Besides Suzy would NEVER call out her father in such a public manner as the former LHS. So, female names are out.

What else is there? Let's see he likes to play the drums... and Guitar Hero 1, 2 and 3! He likes the Wii, and loves doing his school work in a timely manner (okay Bug don't go down that path, otherwise we'll just be calling him LHS 2, and he might not like that one either.) He loves his iPod, but I am afraid of Apple suing me for some sort of copyright infringement - I have NO money, so please do not sue me. :-) That leaves the Cubs... can I call him Cubby? Or is that too immature? How about Wrigley? Or will you kind readers think that he is gum? That's weird, right? Hmmm. Maybe by the end of this post I will have it worked out.

#2 - Benjy. I like Benjy. The name fits perfectly, however the son that is now known as formerly LHS (for now), thinks that I am showing favoritism. Give me a break. The kid has been called Benjy from day 1, actually from BEFORE day one. When we came up with names he was initially going to be Nicholas Alexander - in honor of my Russian heritage (or something like that). That was perfect, after all naming a child is a trying task. Just ask ANY parent. So we had a boy name picked out and we were pretty sure that he was going to be a boy, so... The dang neighbor named her son Nicholas.

Panic!!

We can't have the same name now. That is just so wrong. She stole our Nicholas! Okay, so we calmed down after a while and moved on to our second choice. Benjamin Alexander, it doesn't flow as well, but I liked the initials, BAM. Within a week, we were at Jenni's parents having a baby shower, I think. When my Mother in-law (who I get along with really well, praise God) started with saying something along the lines of how is little Bam-Bam? I think you can guess what happened. Yep. "We can't have our son made fun of about Bam-bam." - Yes, dear.

The day finally came and little Benjy (I know, we're okay with that but not Bam-bam) still needed a middle name. For some reason Thomas came into play, and it stuck. Something else that sticks is me calling him Benjamin Thomas Franklin Pierce.

No. I don't know why. Anyway, I like Benjy, and Benjy has been his nickname forever, well at least for the last thirteen and a half years (yes, all the kids call him Benjy and I believe that he is quite proud of his name, although my neighbor keeps calling him Ben for some reason), so Benjy it will remain. Sorry Formerly LHS, it can't be changed and it won't be. My blog after all. :-)

#3 - SPLG and SAPLG - acronym Hades. Especially since I couldn't remember either one. I know, it's pretty sad that I can't even remember my own child's nickname; even when it is one I invented. I would call her princess, but that could lead to problems with my other two princesses. :-)

Lately she has been very fond of her email, but what kind of nickname would that be... exactly! She is doing Irish step dancing, so... Of course what do I do if she quits? This is quite a commitment of time that I have invested here and I don't want to do it again, if I don't have to. She used to be into American Girl dolls... Used to.

Ooh, Jenni just gave me a great idea, and it fits... FTB - Favorite Third Born. Perfect. Also it is way more kinder and gentler than the previous nicknames, well one of them at least.

#4 - Another long-time nickname, Cuddlebug. Why? It's simple, she always cuddles with me. Well, as long as #5 isn't bumping her out of the way. She also loves the princesses at Disney (who doesn't?), and she is getting into Irish Step Dancing, as well. She loves horses, she could be my friend Flicka - no! Besides, I didn't write that title properly, so we'll just move on. I almost feel obligated to fill in more space here, lest she feel slighted by only one paragraph. What can I say though, her name fits.

So it stays.

#5 Magpie. Not really a fan of this name. contrary to what the former LHS thinks. I mean a Magpie is a bird, not a child. Spoiled would work, since everyone (including her) thinks that she is my favorite. Every parent knows that there are no favorites when it comes to child-rearing. Right? Did I mention that everyone thinks she is my favorite, even at church. I hear this so much, that I'm starting to ... I don't know, lash out. It's not fair to her, I mean she is just a very strong-willed little girl who happens to love her daddy very much.

What can I say? :-)

So, what do I call her?I think I will defer to Jenni once again, at least until something better comes along, and call her FFB - yep, Favorite Fifth Born. Or Baby Girl. Now, I am torn... Did you see how my mind quickly countered that offer of FFB? It really did happen as fast as you read it. Amazing. So, like the former LHS, I will have my final decision at the end.

#6 - He was called #6 for a while, and I don't like it. First of all, it shows a lack of creativity on my part, and secondly it just isn't cool sounding. Or something like that. I think.

His was recently changed to 'Monster' and it actually fits very well. I even call him that in person, so I think we have a winner. I should remember to put the quotation marks in, don't want anyone to be confused. :-)

So, what did we decide....

#6 will be 'Monster'
#4 will remain Cuddlebug
#3 will be FTB (Favorite Third Born)
#2 will remain Benjy

So that leaves me with #5 and #1...

#5 will be Baby Girl

and finally.... drum roll please....

#1 will be Cubby!

That's it, I'm done.

Good night.