Sunday - 22 Words

Peaceful Sundays are always fun, 

When there is lots of sun.

Nothing to worry or fret about

Except maybe Benjy's soccer tryout.

So You Think This Is Easy?

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. 

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. 

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . 

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. 

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? 

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? 

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? 

Have noses that run and feet that smell? 

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

Furthermore, here are reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8)  A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

Oh, and P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

Hope you all smiled at that and are enjoying your weekend!

Vida la Love Story

Love this!!



h/t Rose

Bushwackers

Okay, now that I have your attention. This is a cool and refreshing drink that goes down smooth and easy. Some might say a little too easy, so remember to drink responsibly.

Why the name? Who knows? That is just what we called it and not because of a certain former President of the United States either. Although I can see people that didn't like the President drinking these and possibly dreaming of… I won't go there.

Anyway, this is best in the heat of the summer, which is quickly approaching (although it doesn't really seem like it here in the greater Chicagoland area), but I am sure that it is good year round.

Enjoy!

BUSHWACKERS

4 oz. Cream of Coconut

2 oz. Kahlua

1 oz. Bacardi Black Rum

1 oz. Hiram Walker Dark Crème de Cocoa

4 oz. Half and Half

4 Cups of Ice

Blend until smooth. Serves 2.

Again, I will remind everyone to DRINK RESPONSIBLY!! Don't want to lose anyone to stupidity.

Play Time!

What's that you say? I'm too old for play time? I think not.

For example, I have been known to play soccer with my team of U14 boys. Granted most of them can run circles around me, but unfortunately, some can't. I mean think about it, here I am an overweight forty-one and more than a half year old, outplaying young and in shape thirteen and fourteen year olds.

It's not looking good America.

***

Take this blog, as another example. I love to write. I should write more. You would think I would have a book or two published by now, if you just listened to me. Yet, all I seem to be concerned with, writing-wise, is this blog. Let's be honest here, it's not exactly wowing the general public. Oh sure I have my followers, but how many of you go to your other friends and say, "you need to check out Roger's blog, it's freaking awesome!"

Heck, most of you that read this never even comment. Should I take this as a sign? Maybe I should "dirty" it up a bit and use some choice four letter words. That should reel people in, right? Actually, I think that if I can figure out the whole META tag thingy, I can put some killer SEO words in my description, and be able to clear a million by year's end.

Like I said, play time.

***

Watching the Chicago Fire playing Chivas in some intense MLS action. Lots of yellow cards, 6 so far with only 52 minutes played, plus two penalty kicks. So I must leave you now.

Any guesses as to my Latin below? Leave a comment, if you like.

Sing Me Out To The Ballgame

Girl's softball.

My, what a noisy game. I know that there is chatter in baseball of the likes:

"We need a pitcher, not a belly itcher"

or 

"Hey batter batter, swing batter!"

Girls on the other hand, they sing.

They sing goofy songs. "... beat on the ball, beat on the ball, beat beat beat beat on the ball."

They even sing songs that I don't think are very appropriate, but since they are twelve and under, it must be okay, right?

Tonight, I witnessed a completely new facet of the singing.

Smack singing.

You all know what smack is, right? It's basically "trash talking" used to try and intimidate the opposing team.

Yeah, smack singing.

I wish I could remember the words, but it involved Britney Spears and Salt -n- Peppa (what twelve year old today even knows WHO Salt -n- Peppa are?), and shaking booty, and "no you didn't." It also has some "moves" that go along with the words.

Well this song, of which I will have to pay much closer attention to, was sung by our girls first. It was clear that the opposing team hadn't heard this one yet, because when they first tried it, they put in Helen Keller instead of Britney Spears, I think.

Severe mismatch, and they were called out by my daughter's team, who then decided to show them how it was done. Back and forth it went. I just wish I had my video camera, as it quite entertaining - as long as you don't look at it as being poor sportsmanship, or anything.

Jessica did good in the field, never letting a ball get past her, and she even got an RBI, I believe.

Oh, there was even an inside-the-park-home run for Jessie's team.

Granted there were two errors on the play, but hey, the girl that hit the ball, never stopped running. 

The game itself was interesting, with our team being the home team and trailing 21-14 going into the bottom of the sixth, or seventh (yes, I was paying attention, I had three younger ones with me, so shh!). So, the team that rarely scores the maximum allowed runs (five per inning, or you can score up to five more that the opposing team, until the last inning when you can score to your heart's content) down by seven.

Final score: 21-22, we win!!!

Hot and Fluffy

A little levity now. (told you)