If you don't know what to do, call the media and at least give the appearance of doing something. ~ David Peterson
Guess what woke me up this morning?
It had nothing to do with any bodily functions, especially in the waste production section - I'm good in that area, and I know that you wanted to know that.
Actually, it was an earthquake, although as my friends in California would say, "puh-lease, it didn't even break four on the Richter scale."
To which I would answer, "oh yes it did, those seismologists just didn't want us to have our four."
For the record, it was initially reported as a 4.3, only to be downgraded later to a 3.8.
To which I say, whatever. All I know is that at 4AM, I was awakened by a loud boom and a slight shaking sensation. I actually though that either something blew up (hence the boom), or that someone ran into either my house or a house on my block (that would be the boom and shake).
The lesson to be learned from all of this though is; there are now two things that will wake me up from a deep slumber.
An earthquake or a power outage.
That's right, crying babies, police pounding on my door, father in-law pounding on my door, puking kids, puking animals, falling trees, alarm clocks, farting (not that I would do that , just sayin') all have no affect and do not disturb my sleep.*
Nope, not this guy. It takes an earthquake or a power outage.
You always knew I was weird, right?
* I have slept through them all, every single one.